Drama. Drama. Drama.

So this morning started off pretty well, it's funny though how one small (depending on how you look at it) thing can change all that. I think this may turn into an advert for a new mum. It's no news that me and my mum don't have the best relationship in the world but it's not through want of trying. I moved out at a very early age in a hope that it would improve our relationship and it did, kind of. Anyway, while Kate Middleton was slapping her makeup on and doing her hair with nerves setting in here in Birdwell, Barnsley I was feeling rubbish. Had a wonderful text from my mum belittling me because aparently I haven't been to see Ellie whilst she was in hospital or when she came home, I haven't offered any help or sad upport with William and I didn't invite her out for lunch yesterday. Oh and complaining about her mothers day card was late. Firstly, how am I expected to visit Ellie when Alan is at work all day? Do they expect me to catch the bus and walk? I call and text every day against my own better judgement to check they are all OK and I have offered to have William on more than one occassion and a fair few times of late. And her mothers day card was late due to me being in hospital, hardly cause for an argument. The texts have rolled backwards and forwards this morning and she has ended it with that she is done with me. I'm a bad daughter and never offer any support. My mother forgets all the times she has chosen not to support me. Ellie has always been the centre of her attention and support and she always comes first so why would any of us make an effort? Keira has had similar texts this morning. Paul hasn't although he never offered to help out or asked how Ellie is. Work that one out. To be honest, I'm furious and upset all at once. How dare she tear bits off of me when all I have done is offer my help and assistance and concern. Aparently it has been a long time coming. Oh well, jog on mother because at this moment in time I really do not need nor want this stress.


[DEEP BREATH]

Been watching the Royal Wedding and must admit was quite excited to see the dress. I approve, it is quite beautiful in an old fashioned style. Plenty of lace. It suits her. The wedding was OK - I can't get too excited about it, partly because of the above but also because I'm not that interested. I hope they have a lovely day though and hope they have a wonderful life together.

Not feeling too grand in myself at the moment and I don't mean emotionally although that probably isn't helping. I have really painful menstrual cramps and contractions that whilst are far apart are quite painful. I hope this is the start of the real thing this time. Going to give it a while and if no better I'll call the hospital to see what they say. Should be interesting getting there on the bus considering Alan's at work and Keira is out for the day and I don't have a mother who is interested! Ok, so I'm feeling sorry for myself but fuck it one is allowed to have a moan.