This time last year I was discussing with hubby the pending arrival of our baby boy. I had been in early labour at 27 weeks and had it stopped with a drug and from then on I was in hospital with slow labour pretty much every other week.
This time last year I was 41 weeks pregnant. I'd had my second sweep done by a lovely midwife at my house. She was positive something would start soon. I wasn't buying it, we'd been told this in previous weeks when my contractions were off the charts. They tailed off, they always did. She said she had given me a "good going over" - her words, not mine. I wasn't confident I'd be meeting my baby boy any time soon.
Little did I know my waters would break the following day...
I have been terrible at keeping my food diary this week. I've had a lot on my mind and whilst I've stuck to the diet and training plan my heart and head have been elsewhere. Yesterday was a day I'd rather forget so let's start a fresh with day 10:
Dinner: Jacket potato with salad
Snacks: a hand full of nuts this morning
I have the work out to do when I get home from work. I'm still aching from the last one!
Hubby left for work at 4:45am this morning meaning I had to get Alfie to nursery and all the bits in between. We usually start off the day (today it was 6:30am) with a bottle of milk (for Alfie) and a cuddle on the sofa whilst watching whatever's on CBeebies. We have a little play then we fight whilst I dress him (must take after his mummy and prefer to be in the buff!), we play some more then we brush our teeth and head off to nursery...then I'll come home and sort myself out for work.
This morning started out like that...I left him to play whilst I put some clothes on to drop him off at nursery. Alfie is at the stage where he's into everything so I really don't like leaving the room for too long so I shoved my jeans and a vest top on and off I went. We had 15 mins in the garden thanks to the glorious weather and luck was on my side in that the neighbour I flashed a few weeks ago (because of a scary encounter with a spider) wasn't in the garden...thank the lord I'd missed him again!
7:55 came and we set off for nursery. It's just up the road from us so I didn't bother with the pram I just carried Alfie in my arms. Usually we're the first to arrive at nursery but today because of our little bit of time in the garden we were the 3rd to arrive. We were behind Audi dad and another dad I haven't seen before.
We took our little ones in and were saying our goodbyes. I passed Alfie over to the nursery nurse and he decided to keep hold of my top. In full view of Audi dad and new dad (and the 3 nursery staff) down came my top and out popped my (very pert thanks to the boob job) bra covered breasts. Thankfully I had a nice bra on (gotta see the brighter side of things!) but since having Alfie I've gone up a cup size and the bra in question was a cup size too small leaving little to the imagination.
Clearly I was embarrassed and promptly removed Alfies gripping hand from my top and pulled it back up. I'm not sure if it was out of shock, jest or what but rather than turning away and leaving me to deal with my embarrassment alone, Audi dad said "whoops-a-daisy!"....
Fucking whoops-a-daisy? Seriously? I flashed my scantily clad chest and he said whoops-a-daisy? Holy shit I'm never going to be able to look him in the eye again. He's probably told aaaallll his colleagues and male friends and before you know it I'll be known as "tits McGee" or something to that effect (yknow like I've nicknamed him Audi dad). Brilliant. I've got to do the pick up later too!
Ah well, at least I've got a nice pair ;-) always looking on the bright side!
Yesterday was a busy day so the work out was a late one and it was a killer. They're certainly getting more intense and I ache in places I never knew could ache this morning! Ouch! All worth it though!
Breakfast: Veggie stir fry (yes you read correctly, this was my brekki!)
Lunch: Jacket potato with side salad
Dinner: Rice and steamed veg
This was me before I got pregnant with Alfie. I think you'll agree I had to have had some bollocks to do this shoot and this was pretty "tame" for me. I've done a lot of implied nude, boudoir and other such shoots with different photographers...Once upon a time I had bollocks, gumption, guts...whatever you want to call it...I had confidence.
I want to feel like this again, I don't mean have the exact same figure again 'cause lets face it after having a baby your figure is never the same again. Up until a couple of weeks ago apart from a couple of "niggles" I still felt like I had the bollocks to do this again. I even talked about doing another "one off" shoot...and now? Now I can't seem to find the confidence to even TALK to some people or to ask a question never mind taking my bloody kit off for a couple of hours in front of a camera!
Once upon a time, I had confidence. Then one day, it decided to run away and play a long game of hide and seek. Let me know if you happen to see it won't you? I quite liked having gumption.