Can't think of an appropriate title

Oh how I've missed being able to write, or rather type my thoughts out. I've missed that, good telly (or ANY telly really) good music (lost my headphones for my iphone) and edible food.

No prizes for guessing where I've been? *waits for imaginary people to guess* You're right! I've been in hospital, for a change, again. Tuesday to Friday which is why I haven't posted a blog for a while. The hospital doesn't have wifi so there wasn't any point in taking the laptop, although thinking about it maybe I should have just to get my thoughts out SOMEWHERE then I could've posted them on here later.

Called the hospital on Tuesday because of contractions, they admitted me there and then and I was told baby was threatening labour. No news there then. I was put in the same room I'm always in. Different bed this time though. It's all a bit of a blur with how much has happened over the last few days. One main thing is I was stuck in a room with a woman who bragged about smoking 20 fags a day whilst pregnant! Dirty, vile woman. She also gave her 12 year old son a fag because he'd ran out! Mother of the year, I think NOT. I was also stuck next to a woman who snored like Godzilla, no joke. I have never heard anyone snore as much in my life. She kept everyone awake all night then complained she had no sleep. I was fuming to say the least. No sleep and lots of pain does not make Amy a happy bunny.

I saw the consultant I'm under ONCE the whole time I was there and she told me what I already knew, baby is ready to come out and he wants to come early they are just waiting for him to come or to get distressed so they have to do an emergency section. WHY would you WAIT for a baby to get distressed????? He is big enough and healthy enough to be born now thanks to the drugs I have been given and he's a good size now so why not put me and him out of our misery? ARGH.

Thursday was the worst day, the contractions were off the scale. Luckily my mum came to see me as Alan was on afters so I wasn't able to see him. The midwife looking after me sent for the on call registrar urgently and he checked me for dilation but nothing. They think I may be one of the women who will struggle to dilate and will end up having a section anyway. Seeing a pattern here? I called Alan to come through as the midwife advised me it would be for the best as she expected a baby before the end of the night. My contractions were worse than a girl across from me who was dilating and further on in labour than I was! Oh eck I was ready to have the baby. I was offered pethidine but I refused it as it can slow things down and after having contractions on and off since 28weeks gestation I was waaaay too tired to slow things down and start all over again. The contractions slowed down on their own. Gutted. At 8pm Alan went home after visiting so I got in the bath. The contractions started again so I didn't get much sleep and I managed on paraceetamol.

Friday, I was more than fed up and upset. The contractions had slowed down but I was waiting for them to peak again as that's the trend what has been happening. I waited over an hour and half for painkillers and they only gave me codine so I took my own paracetamol. Then when I eventually got my codine, the midwife had a go at me for pressing the call button and told me next time, to get out of my bed and go find her on the ward. RUDE. The dr tried telling me it was SPD because I was getting pain in my back and tummy? Erm, hello thats what happens with contractions?? Anyway, it had already been confirmed it was threatened labour. He asked me to stay a while to track the contractions but if I wanted to go home after, I could. The midwife came and then that was it, I was rushed out of the hospital because they needed my bed! I wasn't checked even though I told the midwife the contractions were getting stronger. She told me to come back later if they continued. Waste of time.

My sister picked me up and brought me home. When Alan got in from work, we went for lunch to a pub and then went shopping (he treat me to cheer me up, bless) the contractions got worse with walking. We went for a drive down the Strines and came back home to watch a film. The contractions are still there, though they are manageable. I don't know if I should call the hospital or leave it, because all they do is admit me and sit me in a bed on paracetamol and then forget me even when I ask for help.

They keep telling me "ohh baby is happy" and I'm really grateful for that, really I am. But I'm not happy. I'm not healthy and I'm certainly not comfortable. I'm scared stiff every time I get contractions baby is going to get distressed and something bad is going to happen. Its all good and well having a healthy baby but no good without a healthy mum to look after him is it? I can't do this for another 5 week when I'll be 40wk or 7 if they let me go over due. I just can't.

I'm really struggling.