So this morning started off pretty well, it's funny though how one small (depending on how you look at it) thing can change all that. I think this may turn into an advert for a new mum. It's no news that me and my mum don't have the best relationship in the world but it's not through want of trying. I moved out at a very early age in a hope that it would improve our relationship and it did, kind of. Anyway, while Kate Middleton was slapping her makeup on and doing her hair with nerves setting in here in Birdwell, Barnsley I was feeling rubbish. Had a wonderful text from my mum belittling me because aparently I haven't been to see Ellie whilst she was in hospital or when she came home, I haven't offered any help or sad upport with William and I didn't invite her out for lunch yesterday. Oh and complaining about her mothers day card was late. Firstly, how am I expected to visit Ellie when Alan is at work all day? Do they expect me to catch the bus and walk? I call and text every day against my own better judgement to check they are all OK and I have offered to have William on more than one occassion and a fair few times of late. And her mothers day card was late due to me being in hospital, hardly cause for an argument. The texts have rolled backwards and forwards this morning and she has ended it with that she is done with me. I'm a bad daughter and never offer any support. My mother forgets all the times she has chosen not to support me. Ellie has always been the centre of her attention and support and she always comes first so why would any of us make an effort? Keira has had similar texts this morning. Paul hasn't although he never offered to help out or asked how Ellie is. Work that one out. To be honest, I'm furious and upset all at once. How dare she tear bits off of me when all I have done is offer my help and assistance and concern. Aparently it has been a long time coming. Oh well, jog on mother because at this moment in time I really do not need nor want this stress.
[DEEP BREATH]
Been watching the Royal Wedding and must admit was quite excited to see the dress. I approve, it is quite beautiful in an old fashioned style. Plenty of lace. It suits her. The wedding was OK - I can't get too excited about it, partly because of the above but also because I'm not that interested. I hope they have a lovely day though and hope they have a wonderful life together.
Not feeling too grand in myself at the moment and I don't mean emotionally although that probably isn't helping. I have really painful menstrual cramps and contractions that whilst are far apart are quite painful. I hope this is the start of the real thing this time. Going to give it a while and if no better I'll call the hospital to see what they say. Should be interesting getting there on the bus considering Alan's at work and Keira is out for the day and I don't have a mother who is interested! Ok, so I'm feeling sorry for myself but fuck it one is allowed to have a moan.
Friday, 29 April 2011
Thursday, 28 April 2011
Place your bets...
The lack of blogging from me is due to the lack of "get up and go" I have had of late. This morning, I woke up with a grudge against the world. Not good. This is mainly due to the fact that I have (yet again) had very little sleep due to the pains and contractions I'm getting. It doesn't help when you feel totally alone and ignored by health care "professionals". I had an appointment with the consultant on Tuesday however she was too busy to see me so I saw her understudy. I wasn't examined or asked how I was feeling even when I TOLD her the pain I was having and considering it was difficult for me to sit/walk/stand pretty much said it all. She told me they think I have had my "show" which means baby is iminent however didn't check for dilation. I'm going to be one of those women that end up having her baby in the bath or the toilet or another extremely inconvenient place or even in public! Anyway, she only gave me blood results from a test my community midwife gave me that very morning...they were fine. The DR however said my iron was low and went to ask my consultant to write up a prescription. She came back, without said prescription because my iron is fine. I don't have a follow up appointment they just said to keep doing what I'm doing...going to labour ward and being shoved in a bed and forgotten about. Fucking brilliant. (Sorry for the bad language)
Anyway, that was Tuesday and today is Thursday. I no longer have a problem with the world. I've 'ad a word wi misen and all is right again, well apart from the pain. I popped to see the boys at the florists next door but one to treat myself to some flowers. I'm extremely pleased I did, because Shaun made me up a stunningly gorgeous bouquet of lillies and gerbras (my favourites)...pink lillies and bright gerbras. Just what the doctor ordered! I also have a beautiful orchid house plant which now sits proudly on my livingroom windowsill. Flowers actually make me very, very happy. I think in another life I must've been a florist. So yes, part of my forgiving the world is down to Shaun and Julian for the flowers and lovely chat. They are diamond gentlemen :) oh and it's Shauns birthday tomorrow!
So, baby Lewis is playing up. No news there then. We have decided to have a sweepstake on when the little buggerlugs is due. The winner gets a bottle of champers! I'm hoping Shaun's comes in because it's the closest date (tomorrow!) and I really hope Fudd (alan's work friend) is wrong that I will go over by 2 weeks! Aparently my work colleagues are also taking bets on when Baby Lewis will show his face! Here are the bets so far: I'll update when I know what my work colleagues have bet! Just a bit of fun but REALLY hope baby Lewis comes soon so I can have a rest...well a rest from the pain anyway as the sleepless nights will long continue so I'm told. Very excited to meet my little man though :)
Off to Pizza Hut buffet for lunch with Alan, Keira and Daisy. Really looking forward to it :) Hopefully I will manage to enjoy myself for a couple of hours. If I'm not any better Alan has asked me to call the hospital just to get checked over if nothing else. I think someone is worried that baby Lewis will surprise us and come when we're at home or out and about and Alan will have to deliver him! Don't think shouting "is there a midwife in the house" works anywhere else but on films :)
We'll see how I get on!
Anyway, that was Tuesday and today is Thursday. I no longer have a problem with the world. I've 'ad a word wi misen and all is right again, well apart from the pain. I popped to see the boys at the florists next door but one to treat myself to some flowers. I'm extremely pleased I did, because Shaun made me up a stunningly gorgeous bouquet of lillies and gerbras (my favourites)...pink lillies and bright gerbras. Just what the doctor ordered! I also have a beautiful orchid house plant which now sits proudly on my livingroom windowsill. Flowers actually make me very, very happy. I think in another life I must've been a florist. So yes, part of my forgiving the world is down to Shaun and Julian for the flowers and lovely chat. They are diamond gentlemen :) oh and it's Shauns birthday tomorrow!
So, baby Lewis is playing up. No news there then. We have decided to have a sweepstake on when the little buggerlugs is due. The winner gets a bottle of champers! I'm hoping Shaun's comes in because it's the closest date (tomorrow!) and I really hope Fudd (alan's work friend) is wrong that I will go over by 2 weeks! Aparently my work colleagues are also taking bets on when Baby Lewis will show his face! Here are the bets so far: I'll update when I know what my work colleagues have bet! Just a bit of fun but REALLY hope baby Lewis comes soon so I can have a rest...well a rest from the pain anyway as the sleepless nights will long continue so I'm told. Very excited to meet my little man though :)
Off to Pizza Hut buffet for lunch with Alan, Keira and Daisy. Really looking forward to it :) Hopefully I will manage to enjoy myself for a couple of hours. If I'm not any better Alan has asked me to call the hospital just to get checked over if nothing else. I think someone is worried that baby Lewis will surprise us and come when we're at home or out and about and Alan will have to deliver him! Don't think shouting "is there a midwife in the house" works anywhere else but on films :)
We'll see how I get on!
Saturday, 23 April 2011
Quickie...
This is a very quick post, I'll probably finish this later and think of a more appropriate title.
Ellie, my sister wasn't feeling well yesterday and my mum took her to hospital. Keira and I thought nothing of this as to be fair, Ellie and mum are hypocondriacts (sorry for the mis-spelling)...I had a call this morning from Keira, Ellie is going to theatre TODAY. Suspected appendicitis. Mum text me to let me know after I'd spoken to Keira so I called her. I also text Ellie. Just had confirmation from mum that Ellie is going to theatre in the next 15 mins and they aren't doing keyhole because of the family history of gyne problems. I find this a bit strange as keyhole is usually done first to LOOK for any problems before a full cut (can't remember the word which is weird considering I've had about 5!) Anyway, I've offered to have William (Ellie's son - in case you're not up to date on things) if needed. I feel a little bad about not believing them yesterday but to be fair, its a little like the boy who cried wolf with Ellie.
On another note, my friend Wendy text me at 5:30 this morning and her waters went at 5! She's in hospital now and dilating slowly but the contractions are close together so hopefully her little one will be here today! I'm tres jealous! We were in hospital together at the start of pregnancy - although she is further on than I am. Was hoping to end it together too!! Oh well!
Will update more later
***********************************************
Ok so now is later! Just got back from town, nipped there for some icing sugar for my baking day. I got to town and walked from the Alhambra to the bus station called in Wilkinsons, the card shop and the food weigh store place nr the bus station...anyway caused me HELL! Really painful. I was glad to get on the bus even if I was sat next to a very nosey old dear who had an opinion on everything including my baby! Contractions started then. I'm not sure if the pain is caused from walking or if it's genuine. I'm giving it until 2:45 (30 mins away) before I call labour ward. Alan's at work so it would mean me going up alone, don't want to drag him out of work and it be another false alarm. Hope it's not because it's getting to be real hard work all this pain. Will see how I go. Never know, my next post could be as a mummy. Wishful thinking again, I know.
Ellie, my sister wasn't feeling well yesterday and my mum took her to hospital. Keira and I thought nothing of this as to be fair, Ellie and mum are hypocondriacts (sorry for the mis-spelling)...I had a call this morning from Keira, Ellie is going to theatre TODAY. Suspected appendicitis. Mum text me to let me know after I'd spoken to Keira so I called her. I also text Ellie. Just had confirmation from mum that Ellie is going to theatre in the next 15 mins and they aren't doing keyhole because of the family history of gyne problems. I find this a bit strange as keyhole is usually done first to LOOK for any problems before a full cut (can't remember the word which is weird considering I've had about 5!) Anyway, I've offered to have William (Ellie's son - in case you're not up to date on things) if needed. I feel a little bad about not believing them yesterday but to be fair, its a little like the boy who cried wolf with Ellie.
On another note, my friend Wendy text me at 5:30 this morning and her waters went at 5! She's in hospital now and dilating slowly but the contractions are close together so hopefully her little one will be here today! I'm tres jealous! We were in hospital together at the start of pregnancy - although she is further on than I am. Was hoping to end it together too!! Oh well!
Will update more later
Ok so now is later! Just got back from town, nipped there for some icing sugar for my baking day. I got to town and walked from the Alhambra to the bus station called in Wilkinsons, the card shop and the food weigh store place nr the bus station...anyway caused me HELL! Really painful. I was glad to get on the bus even if I was sat next to a very nosey old dear who had an opinion on everything including my baby! Contractions started then. I'm not sure if the pain is caused from walking or if it's genuine. I'm giving it until 2:45 (30 mins away) before I call labour ward. Alan's at work so it would mean me going up alone, don't want to drag him out of work and it be another false alarm. Hope it's not because it's getting to be real hard work all this pain. Will see how I go. Never know, my next post could be as a mummy. Wishful thinking again, I know.
Friday, 22 April 2011
ISS Excitement
Today has been a reasonably decent day however I'm not planning on writing about that. Oh no. I have something much more interesting and exciting to write about! I saw the ISS for the first time EVER tonight! I actually can't believe how excited I am! Always wanted to see it but never been able to usually looking in the wrong place, time or not knowing.
I got the heads up on Twitter from the florist next door but one, Julian and his hubby Shaun. I was told what time to look and where to look in the sky (towards the Obelisk from my back yard at around 9:50) I went outside early so I wouldn't miss it, plus was advised to go out eary to get my eyes used to the dark. At first I was worried I wouldn't see it for the stupid street lamps in the way. I shaded my eyes from the glaring light of the lamp and looked up. There it was!!!! Really high up and really bright! I actually said "Oh My God...it's there!" though I'm not sure who to as there was only me present (Alan at work on nights) and bump...and the cat. I did actually tell the cat what we were outside for, I hope the neighbours didn't hear and think I'm mad! I stayed outside until I couldn't really see it anymore and then came back inside to let the whole of twitter - my massive TWENTY EIGHT followers (makes the number look bigger if written in word form)know.
It sparked talks off between myself, Julian, Shaun and Jayne on Twitter. I can't believe there are people in there! I couldn't think of the correct word so called them SPACE PEOPLE (after comparing myself to Buzz Lightyear)...anyway I meant astronauts! Turns out there's also COSMONAUTS! They're the Russians! It's mind boggling (especially for a pregnant me with serious baby brain!) but it's sooo interesting! I've sat on the internet for ages researching the ISS and some of the astronauts/cosmonauts are actually on Twitter. From WAY up there! It's mad! They even post pictures! It's amazing!
I'm excited because its the first time I have ever seen this and I love it! It's sooo far away and so surreal. I can't get my head around it all. Nice to know that all four of us on Twitter (and presumably hundreds more) were looking at it, at the same time, in awe appreciating it. It's a humbling feeling. A bit fuzzy and squishy! I'm really happy. I've text Alan to tell him and facebooked it. No one (apart from the guys on Twitter) knew what it was. I felt pretty cool telling them what it is. Can't wait to see it again!!
I got the heads up on Twitter from the florist next door but one, Julian and his hubby Shaun. I was told what time to look and where to look in the sky (towards the Obelisk from my back yard at around 9:50) I went outside early so I wouldn't miss it, plus was advised to go out eary to get my eyes used to the dark. At first I was worried I wouldn't see it for the stupid street lamps in the way. I shaded my eyes from the glaring light of the lamp and looked up. There it was!!!! Really high up and really bright! I actually said "Oh My God...it's there!" though I'm not sure who to as there was only me present (Alan at work on nights) and bump...and the cat. I did actually tell the cat what we were outside for, I hope the neighbours didn't hear and think I'm mad! I stayed outside until I couldn't really see it anymore and then came back inside to let the whole of twitter - my massive TWENTY EIGHT followers (makes the number look bigger if written in word form)know.
It sparked talks off between myself, Julian, Shaun and Jayne on Twitter. I can't believe there are people in there! I couldn't think of the correct word so called them SPACE PEOPLE (after comparing myself to Buzz Lightyear)...anyway I meant astronauts! Turns out there's also COSMONAUTS! They're the Russians! It's mind boggling (especially for a pregnant me with serious baby brain!) but it's sooo interesting! I've sat on the internet for ages researching the ISS and some of the astronauts/cosmonauts are actually on Twitter. From WAY up there! It's mad! They even post pictures! It's amazing!
I'm excited because its the first time I have ever seen this and I love it! It's sooo far away and so surreal. I can't get my head around it all. Nice to know that all four of us on Twitter (and presumably hundreds more) were looking at it, at the same time, in awe appreciating it. It's a humbling feeling. A bit fuzzy and squishy! I'm really happy. I've text Alan to tell him and facebooked it. No one (apart from the guys on Twitter) knew what it was. I felt pretty cool telling them what it is. Can't wait to see it again!!
Happy Good Friday
Think last night was the first night in a long time where I actually slept all the way through, well until Alan got home at 6:30AM - we didn't get chance to chat because he had a headache and was really tired. To be fair, he hardly slept yesterday.
He was up for just after 1pm so we went out for a pub lunch to the Black Bull at Midgley. We seem to go out for lunch or tea all the time and its spending money we should be saving but I love the time alone out of the house. When baby comes along it will be even more special we'll be out as a family which I never thought I would say is the most important thing in the world to me. I never wanted to get married or have children until I met Alan and he turned my world upside down. Now, I can't imagine not being married to him or being a family with him when our baby finally arrives. We've made a pact to make a date night every month where we go out together alone just to catch a movie or go for a bite to eat.
It's Alans birthday on Sunday - yup easter Sunday the awkward bugger! He'll be 26. We don't have anything in particular planned because he doesn't want to do anything. His sister has invited us over for lunch with the family - not sure he wants to go though. He said he'll go if lunch is early enough so we get the day to ourselves. I'm happy to do whatever he wants. I'm going to get up early and bring him breakfast in bed and I'll maybe do something special for tea too. His birthday present is a new tattoo he's been wanting for a while. It's a cross on his back between his shoulder blades with "only god can judge me" and our babys name when he gets here and actually HAS a name other than Baby Lewis/Bump/Sprog.
I really need to do some sorting out this morning before I sit down with a note pad and do some brainstorming for a project I'm doing. I really need to make myself a to do list to tick things off as I go. That way, I know I'd get things done because I hate having things not crossed off on lists!
Anyway, Happy Good Friday. Hope Easter and the bank holiday is lovely for everyone x
He was up for just after 1pm so we went out for a pub lunch to the Black Bull at Midgley. We seem to go out for lunch or tea all the time and its spending money we should be saving but I love the time alone out of the house. When baby comes along it will be even more special we'll be out as a family which I never thought I would say is the most important thing in the world to me. I never wanted to get married or have children until I met Alan and he turned my world upside down. Now, I can't imagine not being married to him or being a family with him when our baby finally arrives. We've made a pact to make a date night every month where we go out together alone just to catch a movie or go for a bite to eat.
It's Alans birthday on Sunday - yup easter Sunday the awkward bugger! He'll be 26. We don't have anything in particular planned because he doesn't want to do anything. His sister has invited us over for lunch with the family - not sure he wants to go though. He said he'll go if lunch is early enough so we get the day to ourselves. I'm happy to do whatever he wants. I'm going to get up early and bring him breakfast in bed and I'll maybe do something special for tea too. His birthday present is a new tattoo he's been wanting for a while. It's a cross on his back between his shoulder blades with "only god can judge me" and our babys name when he gets here and actually HAS a name other than Baby Lewis/Bump/Sprog.
I really need to do some sorting out this morning before I sit down with a note pad and do some brainstorming for a project I'm doing. I really need to make myself a to do list to tick things off as I go. That way, I know I'd get things done because I hate having things not crossed off on lists!
Anyway, Happy Good Friday. Hope Easter and the bank holiday is lovely for everyone x
Thursday, 21 April 2011
Nothing special
I can't think of much to write today so this will probably be short and sweet but I promised myself I would keep this blog going for as long as I can. Not sure how easy that will be when Baby Lewis is here!
Yesterday turned out to be a lovely day, we had a visit from Keira and my gorgeous niece Daisy - they stayed for a couple of hours so it was nice to chat with Keira and play with Daisy. She is such a happy baby can't believe shes almost 18 months!!
Alan and I went to my friend Adeles photography studio to pick up the DVD slideshow we had done of Daisy for Keiras birthday. Shes got some beautiful images of her despite Daisy not being in the mood when we had them done (tears and tantrums - very unlike Daisy though!) We dropped the slideshow off at Keiras and stayed for a drink while we watched it. Alan played with Daisy loads while me and Keira chatted more. I'm very close with my sister - don't get me wrong sometimes she pisses me off and does my head in but I do the same to her. The good thing is, whenever we see each other its a laugh and we enjoy it. She's been so supportive throughout my pregnancy and shes always there when I need her. Anyway, Alan was playing with Daisy and she screams with laughter - it's sooo cute :) he is going to make such a brilliant daddy I can't wait!
We came home had lunch and then Alan went to bed for a few hours as he was on the night shift. Hate being home alone when he's working nights, it's awful! I went to bed around midnight and couldn't sleep thanks to baby hiccups! I took my book, read two chapters and the sleep just drifted over me. I woke up around 4:30am - back pain, menstrual pain and a few tightenings. I ended up texting Alan and stayed awake until he got in from work. It's always nice when he climbs into bed after a night shift - the first thing he does is pop his head around the door to look at me, goes to brush his teeth etc then climbs in bed and gives me a kiss and we have a natter about his shift and other things before he falls to sleep.
I haven't done much today, I've hung the washing out and put another load in and had breafast (tea and toast). Been having a few tightenings so been encouraging them by bouncing on my birthing ball! The weather is gorgeous but I cant seem to find the motivation in me to go for a walk - I don't like the idea of going alone if I'm honest. I need friends who aren't at work during the day!
Anyhoo, this is going to turn into ramblings so I'm gonna get off! Hopefully my next post will be more exciting - maybe even about having Baby Lewis? Wishful thinking or what!!
Yesterday turned out to be a lovely day, we had a visit from Keira and my gorgeous niece Daisy - they stayed for a couple of hours so it was nice to chat with Keira and play with Daisy. She is such a happy baby can't believe shes almost 18 months!!
Alan and I went to my friend Adeles photography studio to pick up the DVD slideshow we had done of Daisy for Keiras birthday. Shes got some beautiful images of her despite Daisy not being in the mood when we had them done (tears and tantrums - very unlike Daisy though!) We dropped the slideshow off at Keiras and stayed for a drink while we watched it. Alan played with Daisy loads while me and Keira chatted more. I'm very close with my sister - don't get me wrong sometimes she pisses me off and does my head in but I do the same to her. The good thing is, whenever we see each other its a laugh and we enjoy it. She's been so supportive throughout my pregnancy and shes always there when I need her. Anyway, Alan was playing with Daisy and she screams with laughter - it's sooo cute :) he is going to make such a brilliant daddy I can't wait!
We came home had lunch and then Alan went to bed for a few hours as he was on the night shift. Hate being home alone when he's working nights, it's awful! I went to bed around midnight and couldn't sleep thanks to baby hiccups! I took my book, read two chapters and the sleep just drifted over me. I woke up around 4:30am - back pain, menstrual pain and a few tightenings. I ended up texting Alan and stayed awake until he got in from work. It's always nice when he climbs into bed after a night shift - the first thing he does is pop his head around the door to look at me, goes to brush his teeth etc then climbs in bed and gives me a kiss and we have a natter about his shift and other things before he falls to sleep.
I haven't done much today, I've hung the washing out and put another load in and had breafast (tea and toast). Been having a few tightenings so been encouraging them by bouncing on my birthing ball! The weather is gorgeous but I cant seem to find the motivation in me to go for a walk - I don't like the idea of going alone if I'm honest. I need friends who aren't at work during the day!
Anyhoo, this is going to turn into ramblings so I'm gonna get off! Hopefully my next post will be more exciting - maybe even about having Baby Lewis? Wishful thinking or what!!
Wednesday, 20 April 2011
The Lewis'
I've calmed down after this mornings post so thought I would post something a little more positive for the day. Can't be doing with negativity! So, here it is a post in words and pictures about the story of Baby Lewis so far...
Here is baby Lewis at 12 weeks and believe me it was a loooooooooong 12 weeks with two hospital stays thanks to severe morning sickness - there is a name for it but I can't spell it!! At 12 weeks I was still feeling pretty shocking
So here are me and Alan on our wedding day, at this point I was 14 weeks pregnat and feeling it! I found out I was pregnant at approx 6 weeks and we were so excited as I was told I'd need IVF to conceive due to existing medical issues. I was tired on our wedding day but it was beautiful and I loved it none the less.
Here is baby Lewis at the 20 week scan. I was feeling much better by this point.
Heres what Baby Lewis looks like at 20wk + 1 from the outside
Here we are at 25wk +3
Here are the imgages from the 4d scan we had done privately at 28wk +2. This was the week after I had gone into premature labour and the hospital stopped it with drugs and gave me steroids to help strengthen babys lungs. He was really well behaved at the scan appointment and the sonographer was chuffed at how many images he managed to get for us. We also got a 4d movie of Baby Lewis moving and a 2d movie and scan pics. It was a lovely experience.
This one of the ECG scans that I had last week in the hospital when I was 34wk +5. The lines are the contractions I was feeling - believe it or not this was Baby Lewis behaving himself, they were much worse after this!
This is me and Baby Lewis today at 35wk +4. He'd still be classed as premature if he came today but the hospital assure me he will be fine if born early. Struggling a little with the contractions today but all in all very happy that my baby boy is happy.
So that's us...the Lewis family so far! Until Baby Lewis gets here and is no longer a scan or a picture of my tummy. Hopefully we won't be waiting too long to meet our little man.
Here is baby Lewis at 12 weeks and believe me it was a loooooooooong 12 weeks with two hospital stays thanks to severe morning sickness - there is a name for it but I can't spell it!! At 12 weeks I was still feeling pretty shocking
So here are me and Alan on our wedding day, at this point I was 14 weeks pregnat and feeling it! I found out I was pregnant at approx 6 weeks and we were so excited as I was told I'd need IVF to conceive due to existing medical issues. I was tired on our wedding day but it was beautiful and I loved it none the less.
Here is baby Lewis at the 20 week scan. I was feeling much better by this point.
Heres what Baby Lewis looks like at 20wk + 1 from the outside
Here we are at 25wk +3
Here are the imgages from the 4d scan we had done privately at 28wk +2. This was the week after I had gone into premature labour and the hospital stopped it with drugs and gave me steroids to help strengthen babys lungs. He was really well behaved at the scan appointment and the sonographer was chuffed at how many images he managed to get for us. We also got a 4d movie of Baby Lewis moving and a 2d movie and scan pics. It was a lovely experience.
This one of the ECG scans that I had last week in the hospital when I was 34wk +5. The lines are the contractions I was feeling - believe it or not this was Baby Lewis behaving himself, they were much worse after this!
This is me and Baby Lewis today at 35wk +4. He'd still be classed as premature if he came today but the hospital assure me he will be fine if born early. Struggling a little with the contractions today but all in all very happy that my baby boy is happy.So that's us...the Lewis family so far! Until Baby Lewis gets here and is no longer a scan or a picture of my tummy. Hopefully we won't be waiting too long to meet our little man.
Angry post
Woke up today feeling tired, sore but fairly happy. Now, my blood is boiling and I'm extremely annoyed. Only two types of people can do that to me: wasters and family.
Todays case is a bit of both. For you to grasp the whole thing I'd have to tell the whole story and the fact that it is very long and complicated isn't what puts me off. Quite frankly I'm embarassed of it all.
I only ever talk about my sister Keira but I do have a younger sister, Elise/Ellie and an older brother Paul. Paul and Keira are fantastic siblings, they are older than me and I'm really close to them. Ellie is another story.
On Christmas day 2010 she gave birth to my nephew William George. My mum and I were her birthing partners and I won't deny it was an amazing experience. You would think this would bring us closer together but it hasn't. Ellie had a child with a man MY age. For obvious reasons I can't go into detail but the said man is now in prison serving a short sentence for sex with a minor. Ellie was 14 when she got pregnant and 15 when she had the baby.
My mum is Ellies main support because Ellie has ailienated the rest of us with lies. Shes an impulsive liar. She tells mum that we, (Keira, Paul and I) pick on her etc and has so far resulted in me and mum falling out on more than one occassion. The only reason mum is talking to me now is because of the situation with baby Lewis and the hospital and it wasn't me that told her, it was Keira. Mum gets up in the night with William, baths him, feeds him, changes him, dresses him. Poor little bugger is going to grow up thinking my mum is HIS mum and not his granny. Ellie is still at school doing her A Levels although she complains about it ALL the time - it was her bloody choice! On school days, William goes to a childminders. Mum gets him ready for the childminders and takes him. Ellie picks him up (the minder used to drop him off) and looks after him for the hour while mum gets in from work - then mum takes over. Ellie cries depression far too much and I understand the postnatal depression thing and I can assure you Ellie is not depressed she just knows how to play my mum. Shes got a new boyfriend whos 22 - can anyone tell me what a 22yr old MAN wants with a 16yr old GIRL?????? Mum is fine about it - yet the other man is in prison? Doesn't make sense to me. Ellie isn't on any contraception and mum isn't concerned...HELLO WAKE UP MUM ELLIE IS NOT SWEET & INNOCENT AS YOU THINK!!!
Mum thinks Ellie was groomed, by the man in prison and other men (yes there were others) the fact is Ellie is a tart. She sleeps around and has done from a young age. I know it was Ellie that instigated a lot of it because it was me that caught her out and esentially me that sent the man to prison. I found all the evidence, found where he lived etc when Ellie wouldn't talk. I won't deny that she did think she loved him and that she thought he loved her but she knew what was happening was wrong.
Now, Ellie moans about never having time for herself etc yet shes hardly ever got her son. Mum looks after him because Ellies excuses is shes a single mum. Mum has never offered to have my neice or nephew while their mums catch up on time to themselves while the men go out to work. Its only the same thing. Ellie isn't a single mum because she has everyone running around after her.
I think to get the reason why I'm so angry you'd have to know the whole story and like I said, I'm far too embarassed. I don't think the guy in prison is Williams father tho - altho they definately did have sex. William looks Asian and his "father" is as pale as they come and they share no features. I know, I've seen them both.
Ellie has posted on facebook about being fed up and doesn't know why she bothers this morning - which is what prompted my post. I'm angry and upset. She is disgusting and I honestly don't like her at all. Me, Keira and Paul all think the same. And its sad to say but mum doesn't support us because she doesn't have the time now she is looking after a baby.
And now I've got some friggin Welsh bloke on the phone asking for a Stacey and won't accept theres no Stacey here. Ooooh man, today is going to be one of those days!
On a brighter note, Baby Lewis has hiccups which is dead cute :)
Todays case is a bit of both. For you to grasp the whole thing I'd have to tell the whole story and the fact that it is very long and complicated isn't what puts me off. Quite frankly I'm embarassed of it all.
I only ever talk about my sister Keira but I do have a younger sister, Elise/Ellie and an older brother Paul. Paul and Keira are fantastic siblings, they are older than me and I'm really close to them. Ellie is another story.
On Christmas day 2010 she gave birth to my nephew William George. My mum and I were her birthing partners and I won't deny it was an amazing experience. You would think this would bring us closer together but it hasn't. Ellie had a child with a man MY age. For obvious reasons I can't go into detail but the said man is now in prison serving a short sentence for sex with a minor. Ellie was 14 when she got pregnant and 15 when she had the baby.
My mum is Ellies main support because Ellie has ailienated the rest of us with lies. Shes an impulsive liar. She tells mum that we, (Keira, Paul and I) pick on her etc and has so far resulted in me and mum falling out on more than one occassion. The only reason mum is talking to me now is because of the situation with baby Lewis and the hospital and it wasn't me that told her, it was Keira. Mum gets up in the night with William, baths him, feeds him, changes him, dresses him. Poor little bugger is going to grow up thinking my mum is HIS mum and not his granny. Ellie is still at school doing her A Levels although she complains about it ALL the time - it was her bloody choice! On school days, William goes to a childminders. Mum gets him ready for the childminders and takes him. Ellie picks him up (the minder used to drop him off) and looks after him for the hour while mum gets in from work - then mum takes over. Ellie cries depression far too much and I understand the postnatal depression thing and I can assure you Ellie is not depressed she just knows how to play my mum. Shes got a new boyfriend whos 22 - can anyone tell me what a 22yr old MAN wants with a 16yr old GIRL?????? Mum is fine about it - yet the other man is in prison? Doesn't make sense to me. Ellie isn't on any contraception and mum isn't concerned...HELLO WAKE UP MUM ELLIE IS NOT SWEET & INNOCENT AS YOU THINK!!!
Mum thinks Ellie was groomed, by the man in prison and other men (yes there were others) the fact is Ellie is a tart. She sleeps around and has done from a young age. I know it was Ellie that instigated a lot of it because it was me that caught her out and esentially me that sent the man to prison. I found all the evidence, found where he lived etc when Ellie wouldn't talk. I won't deny that she did think she loved him and that she thought he loved her but she knew what was happening was wrong.
Now, Ellie moans about never having time for herself etc yet shes hardly ever got her son. Mum looks after him because Ellies excuses is shes a single mum. Mum has never offered to have my neice or nephew while their mums catch up on time to themselves while the men go out to work. Its only the same thing. Ellie isn't a single mum because she has everyone running around after her.
I think to get the reason why I'm so angry you'd have to know the whole story and like I said, I'm far too embarassed. I don't think the guy in prison is Williams father tho - altho they definately did have sex. William looks Asian and his "father" is as pale as they come and they share no features. I know, I've seen them both.
Ellie has posted on facebook about being fed up and doesn't know why she bothers this morning - which is what prompted my post. I'm angry and upset. She is disgusting and I honestly don't like her at all. Me, Keira and Paul all think the same. And its sad to say but mum doesn't support us because she doesn't have the time now she is looking after a baby.
And now I've got some friggin Welsh bloke on the phone asking for a Stacey and won't accept theres no Stacey here. Ooooh man, today is going to be one of those days!
On a brighter note, Baby Lewis has hiccups which is dead cute :)
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
Love and other stuff
I don't have the enthusiasm in me today to write a full blown blog, however maybe once I get in the flow it could be my best yet? I was planning on doing this earlier but I have put it off by watching rubbish daytime TV, talking online to friends and eating (healthily I might add).
Yesterday wasn't such a good day, Alan and I didn't really do much we were out and about but didn't seem to DO anything. Never mind.
Today, I went to see the midwife. She mentioned that she saw my name on "the board" whatever/wherever that is letting her know I'd been in hospital. She was quite concerned that I'd been in 3 times since I last saw her, 3 weeks ago. The appointment was pretty much straight forward. She was going to send me to hospital to get some tightenings checked out but I said I would rather wait it out considering I just get put in a bed and forgotten about which she understood. Shes confused why I haven't had a date for a section through because "surely they won't let this happen over and over until 40 + weeks" her words. We had to sort out my hospital appointments too as the hospital got them wrong. I should've been there today but the midwife who wrote on my notes in the hospital wrote 29th April down. Turns out the consultant wants to see me at least every 2 weeks so now my appointment is 26th April (next Tuesday).
I'll admit I'm really struggling with the pain and tightenings but I'm trying my very best to hold it together for fear of being admitted to hospital for another week and being left on my own. I didn't sleep well at all last night, between the cramping pains, back ache, tightenings and heartburn I think I got about 4 hours sleep. I've tried catching a few Zzz's this afternoon but it's just not happening for me.
I'm supposed to be cleaning the house - something I told myself to do but I just don't have the energy or inclination. Oh well, it won't go anywhere so I guess it can wait until tomorrow. I've got a load of washing in and watered the garden, thats enough for today me thinks.
I'm cooking curry for tea, no not to set labour off - it doesn't bloody work! I'm thinking of treating Alan to a nice, relaxed tea in the garden with our pretty lights and some candles. I just want him to know how much I appreciate him being so supportive. I know it's both of us that are in this but he is being more than good with it all. I don't know what I would do without him. He always worrys that he doesn't do enough for me when he does more than enough. The smaller things that matter, he's got them down to a tee. Marrying him was the best day of my life so far. He's everything to me and more.
Yesterday wasn't such a good day, Alan and I didn't really do much we were out and about but didn't seem to DO anything. Never mind.
Today, I went to see the midwife. She mentioned that she saw my name on "the board" whatever/wherever that is letting her know I'd been in hospital. She was quite concerned that I'd been in 3 times since I last saw her, 3 weeks ago. The appointment was pretty much straight forward. She was going to send me to hospital to get some tightenings checked out but I said I would rather wait it out considering I just get put in a bed and forgotten about which she understood. Shes confused why I haven't had a date for a section through because "surely they won't let this happen over and over until 40 + weeks" her words. We had to sort out my hospital appointments too as the hospital got them wrong. I should've been there today but the midwife who wrote on my notes in the hospital wrote 29th April down. Turns out the consultant wants to see me at least every 2 weeks so now my appointment is 26th April (next Tuesday).
I'll admit I'm really struggling with the pain and tightenings but I'm trying my very best to hold it together for fear of being admitted to hospital for another week and being left on my own. I didn't sleep well at all last night, between the cramping pains, back ache, tightenings and heartburn I think I got about 4 hours sleep. I've tried catching a few Zzz's this afternoon but it's just not happening for me.
I'm supposed to be cleaning the house - something I told myself to do but I just don't have the energy or inclination. Oh well, it won't go anywhere so I guess it can wait until tomorrow. I've got a load of washing in and watered the garden, thats enough for today me thinks.
I'm cooking curry for tea, no not to set labour off - it doesn't bloody work! I'm thinking of treating Alan to a nice, relaxed tea in the garden with our pretty lights and some candles. I just want him to know how much I appreciate him being so supportive. I know it's both of us that are in this but he is being more than good with it all. I don't know what I would do without him. He always worrys that he doesn't do enough for me when he does more than enough. The smaller things that matter, he's got them down to a tee. Marrying him was the best day of my life so far. He's everything to me and more.
Sunday, 17 April 2011
A little better today
Morning readers, or rather readER...Jayne *waves* :)
I think (just think) I feel a little better in myself this morning. I wish this was down to a decent nights sleep but it isn't. I was up and down all night in pain. Oh the joys of pregnancy. Alan and I went to bed at 10pm after a cheeky McDonalds tea. He's on days this morning so he needed an early night and I needed time to think. I think. I ran the bath and had a two hour soak (kept re filling the bath with hot water) while reading one of my new books. Just a bit of chick lit to try and lighten my mood..."Woman on the Run" it's not a bad read, nothing spectacular but an easy read none the less. I hauled my backside into bed and the tossing and turning began. At one point I thought of waking Alan and calling the hospital but I felt too guilty so I grinned and beared it. I must have fallen to sleep at some point and then woke again. That was pretty much my nights sleep. I woke this morning and feel a little brighter than yesterday. I think.
Yesterday was lovely, we visited Alan's mother (not so lovely lol) and went for lunch to the pub, Fairways (used to be Bluebell, Dodoworth - where we got married). The contractions were strong again but no way was I calling the hospital not to be put in a bed and forgotten about. We went to Murderhall and got Alan some new trainers. He reckons he's going to start going to the gym, with my guidence (I used to work in a gym). We'll see. We had a drive round and came home to watch a film but there wasn't anything on. We got home from the drive and I just felt so numb. Physically and mentally. Alan tried to comfort me but I just wasn't in the frame of mind to be comforted. It was nice that he was there though and he knew why I was feeling this way because to some extent he was feeling it too. I forget that while I'm the one going through the physical pain and changes...I'm not alone in the mental pain this is bringing. Its hard for him to see me be in pain and to feel so alone even when I'm not. I'm so lucky to have a husband who understands. After being told we couldn't have children naturally and then getting pregnant naturally this is like a miracle baby for us so when the pregnancy isn't straight forward which seems to be most days at the moment...we worry. Its natural, I know. I know things could be worse. Im grateful for what I have and the fact that whilst I'm not happy and healthy at least my baby is. That's what motherhood is all about, right?
I just worry that my struggling with the constant pain and worrying that at some point my uborn baby is going to get into distress (which the hospital have said they are waiting for before they intervene) I won't cope well. I know I'm going to have to go back to the hospital soon because again they are becoming more frequent and painful. I just worry that I'm going to be put in a bed and forgotten about. Again.
Just waiting for Alan to come home from work, then I'll feel better I'm sure.
I think (just think) I feel a little better in myself this morning. I wish this was down to a decent nights sleep but it isn't. I was up and down all night in pain. Oh the joys of pregnancy. Alan and I went to bed at 10pm after a cheeky McDonalds tea. He's on days this morning so he needed an early night and I needed time to think. I think. I ran the bath and had a two hour soak (kept re filling the bath with hot water) while reading one of my new books. Just a bit of chick lit to try and lighten my mood..."Woman on the Run" it's not a bad read, nothing spectacular but an easy read none the less. I hauled my backside into bed and the tossing and turning began. At one point I thought of waking Alan and calling the hospital but I felt too guilty so I grinned and beared it. I must have fallen to sleep at some point and then woke again. That was pretty much my nights sleep. I woke this morning and feel a little brighter than yesterday. I think.
Yesterday was lovely, we visited Alan's mother (not so lovely lol) and went for lunch to the pub, Fairways (used to be Bluebell, Dodoworth - where we got married). The contractions were strong again but no way was I calling the hospital not to be put in a bed and forgotten about. We went to Murderhall and got Alan some new trainers. He reckons he's going to start going to the gym, with my guidence (I used to work in a gym). We'll see. We had a drive round and came home to watch a film but there wasn't anything on. We got home from the drive and I just felt so numb. Physically and mentally. Alan tried to comfort me but I just wasn't in the frame of mind to be comforted. It was nice that he was there though and he knew why I was feeling this way because to some extent he was feeling it too. I forget that while I'm the one going through the physical pain and changes...I'm not alone in the mental pain this is bringing. Its hard for him to see me be in pain and to feel so alone even when I'm not. I'm so lucky to have a husband who understands. After being told we couldn't have children naturally and then getting pregnant naturally this is like a miracle baby for us so when the pregnancy isn't straight forward which seems to be most days at the moment...we worry. Its natural, I know. I know things could be worse. Im grateful for what I have and the fact that whilst I'm not happy and healthy at least my baby is. That's what motherhood is all about, right?
I just worry that my struggling with the constant pain and worrying that at some point my uborn baby is going to get into distress (which the hospital have said they are waiting for before they intervene) I won't cope well. I know I'm going to have to go back to the hospital soon because again they are becoming more frequent and painful. I just worry that I'm going to be put in a bed and forgotten about. Again.
Just waiting for Alan to come home from work, then I'll feel better I'm sure.
Saturday, 16 April 2011
Can't think of an appropriate title
Oh how I've missed being able to write, or rather type my thoughts out. I've missed that, good telly (or ANY telly really) good music (lost my headphones for my iphone) and edible food.
No prizes for guessing where I've been? *waits for imaginary people to guess* You're right! I've been in hospital, for a change, again. Tuesday to Friday which is why I haven't posted a blog for a while. The hospital doesn't have wifi so there wasn't any point in taking the laptop, although thinking about it maybe I should have just to get my thoughts out SOMEWHERE then I could've posted them on here later.
Called the hospital on Tuesday because of contractions, they admitted me there and then and I was told baby was threatening labour. No news there then. I was put in the same room I'm always in. Different bed this time though. It's all a bit of a blur with how much has happened over the last few days. One main thing is I was stuck in a room with a woman who bragged about smoking 20 fags a day whilst pregnant! Dirty, vile woman. She also gave her 12 year old son a fag because he'd ran out! Mother of the year, I think NOT. I was also stuck next to a woman who snored like Godzilla, no joke. I have never heard anyone snore as much in my life. She kept everyone awake all night then complained she had no sleep. I was fuming to say the least. No sleep and lots of pain does not make Amy a happy bunny.
I saw the consultant I'm under ONCE the whole time I was there and she told me what I already knew, baby is ready to come out and he wants to come early they are just waiting for him to come or to get distressed so they have to do an emergency section. WHY would you WAIT for a baby to get distressed????? He is big enough and healthy enough to be born now thanks to the drugs I have been given and he's a good size now so why not put me and him out of our misery? ARGH.
Thursday was the worst day, the contractions were off the scale. Luckily my mum came to see me as Alan was on afters so I wasn't able to see him. The midwife looking after me sent for the on call registrar urgently and he checked me for dilation but nothing. They think I may be one of the women who will struggle to dilate and will end up having a section anyway. Seeing a pattern here? I called Alan to come through as the midwife advised me it would be for the best as she expected a baby before the end of the night. My contractions were worse than a girl across from me who was dilating and further on in labour than I was! Oh eck I was ready to have the baby. I was offered pethidine but I refused it as it can slow things down and after having contractions on and off since 28weeks gestation I was waaaay too tired to slow things down and start all over again. The contractions slowed down on their own. Gutted. At 8pm Alan went home after visiting so I got in the bath. The contractions started again so I didn't get much sleep and I managed on paraceetamol.
Friday, I was more than fed up and upset. The contractions had slowed down but I was waiting for them to peak again as that's the trend what has been happening. I waited over an hour and half for painkillers and they only gave me codine so I took my own paracetamol. Then when I eventually got my codine, the midwife had a go at me for pressing the call button and told me next time, to get out of my bed and go find her on the ward. RUDE. The dr tried telling me it was SPD because I was getting pain in my back and tummy? Erm, hello thats what happens with contractions?? Anyway, it had already been confirmed it was threatened labour. He asked me to stay a while to track the contractions but if I wanted to go home after, I could. The midwife came and then that was it, I was rushed out of the hospital because they needed my bed! I wasn't checked even though I told the midwife the contractions were getting stronger. She told me to come back later if they continued. Waste of time.
My sister picked me up and brought me home. When Alan got in from work, we went for lunch to a pub and then went shopping (he treat me to cheer me up, bless) the contractions got worse with walking. We went for a drive down the Strines and came back home to watch a film. The contractions are still there, though they are manageable. I don't know if I should call the hospital or leave it, because all they do is admit me and sit me in a bed on paracetamol and then forget me even when I ask for help.
They keep telling me "ohh baby is happy" and I'm really grateful for that, really I am. But I'm not happy. I'm not healthy and I'm certainly not comfortable. I'm scared stiff every time I get contractions baby is going to get distressed and something bad is going to happen. Its all good and well having a healthy baby but no good without a healthy mum to look after him is it? I can't do this for another 5 week when I'll be 40wk or 7 if they let me go over due. I just can't.
I'm really struggling.
No prizes for guessing where I've been? *waits for imaginary people to guess* You're right! I've been in hospital, for a change, again. Tuesday to Friday which is why I haven't posted a blog for a while. The hospital doesn't have wifi so there wasn't any point in taking the laptop, although thinking about it maybe I should have just to get my thoughts out SOMEWHERE then I could've posted them on here later.
Called the hospital on Tuesday because of contractions, they admitted me there and then and I was told baby was threatening labour. No news there then. I was put in the same room I'm always in. Different bed this time though. It's all a bit of a blur with how much has happened over the last few days. One main thing is I was stuck in a room with a woman who bragged about smoking 20 fags a day whilst pregnant! Dirty, vile woman. She also gave her 12 year old son a fag because he'd ran out! Mother of the year, I think NOT. I was also stuck next to a woman who snored like Godzilla, no joke. I have never heard anyone snore as much in my life. She kept everyone awake all night then complained she had no sleep. I was fuming to say the least. No sleep and lots of pain does not make Amy a happy bunny.
I saw the consultant I'm under ONCE the whole time I was there and she told me what I already knew, baby is ready to come out and he wants to come early they are just waiting for him to come or to get distressed so they have to do an emergency section. WHY would you WAIT for a baby to get distressed????? He is big enough and healthy enough to be born now thanks to the drugs I have been given and he's a good size now so why not put me and him out of our misery? ARGH.
Thursday was the worst day, the contractions were off the scale. Luckily my mum came to see me as Alan was on afters so I wasn't able to see him. The midwife looking after me sent for the on call registrar urgently and he checked me for dilation but nothing. They think I may be one of the women who will struggle to dilate and will end up having a section anyway. Seeing a pattern here? I called Alan to come through as the midwife advised me it would be for the best as she expected a baby before the end of the night. My contractions were worse than a girl across from me who was dilating and further on in labour than I was! Oh eck I was ready to have the baby. I was offered pethidine but I refused it as it can slow things down and after having contractions on and off since 28weeks gestation I was waaaay too tired to slow things down and start all over again. The contractions slowed down on their own. Gutted. At 8pm Alan went home after visiting so I got in the bath. The contractions started again so I didn't get much sleep and I managed on paraceetamol.
Friday, I was more than fed up and upset. The contractions had slowed down but I was waiting for them to peak again as that's the trend what has been happening. I waited over an hour and half for painkillers and they only gave me codine so I took my own paracetamol. Then when I eventually got my codine, the midwife had a go at me for pressing the call button and told me next time, to get out of my bed and go find her on the ward. RUDE. The dr tried telling me it was SPD because I was getting pain in my back and tummy? Erm, hello thats what happens with contractions?? Anyway, it had already been confirmed it was threatened labour. He asked me to stay a while to track the contractions but if I wanted to go home after, I could. The midwife came and then that was it, I was rushed out of the hospital because they needed my bed! I wasn't checked even though I told the midwife the contractions were getting stronger. She told me to come back later if they continued. Waste of time.
My sister picked me up and brought me home. When Alan got in from work, we went for lunch to a pub and then went shopping (he treat me to cheer me up, bless) the contractions got worse with walking. We went for a drive down the Strines and came back home to watch a film. The contractions are still there, though they are manageable. I don't know if I should call the hospital or leave it, because all they do is admit me and sit me in a bed on paracetamol and then forget me even when I ask for help.
They keep telling me "ohh baby is happy" and I'm really grateful for that, really I am. But I'm not happy. I'm not healthy and I'm certainly not comfortable. I'm scared stiff every time I get contractions baby is going to get distressed and something bad is going to happen. Its all good and well having a healthy baby but no good without a healthy mum to look after him is it? I can't do this for another 5 week when I'll be 40wk or 7 if they let me go over due. I just can't.
I'm really struggling.
Sunday, 10 April 2011
The Sun is Shining...the weather is sweet yeah!
Bit of reggae for you there ;)
Not been and posted for a couple of days due to the glorious weather we're getting at the moment. I thought April was renouned for showers? Not this week! Yesterday me and hubby went to Cannon Hall Gardens for a nice stroll and an ice-cream. I struggled a little with the strolling and we kept having to find a bench but it was totally worth the pain. Beautiful days like that with the one you love puts life into perspective and you seem to appreciate it more.
We did the same today, a nice walk and an ice-cream followed by lunch in an old hotel/ pub restaurant (where we got married none the less!) that has been refurbished. Simply divine. Oh, we called to visit my mother bear this morning too. Not seen her in a while and while parents are made to annoy you, the trick is if you don't see them THAT often they annoy you a little less! She's knitted a lovely blanket for Baby Lewis and sorted some of my nephews clothes out for us which was nice. Also got a nice little basket of practical goodies from my favourite auntie and uncle.
I'm getting REALLY excited for bump to arrive now. We are 34 +1 today so if he decides to try and come early again I'll be happy :) Everytime someone asks when I'm due they look completely shocked when I tell them the end of May as aparently, I look ready to POP! I ought to be in the nursery sorting his things out ready for his arrival but on a day like today I'd much rather lounge around and relax. Plus, hubby is in bed as he's on night's tonight so that's a pretty good excuse not to do anything.
Recently been thinking a lot about friends or rather the lack of friends I/we have. We both have friends but we never seem to see much of them anymore. I guess it's due to us being the only married couple. I lost a friend to jealousy recently. She didn't like the fact I was married with a baby on the way and was constantly sniping at me. In the end, I figured if a friend makes you feel rubbish, they aren't that much of a friend. My best friend in the whole wide world forever and ever BFFL (best friend for life) is Batman. Her actual name is Robyn but for as long as I can remember I've called her Batman. Imaginative, I know. We have literally known each other all our lives. She's younger than I am, she's 20 not that it matters. I don't see her too much because, like me she is settled down (not married) she lives with her girlfriend who is older than I am by a couple of years but they are a fantastic match. In my opinion, men SERIOUSLY dipped out when Batman finally admitted she was lesbian. She's gorgeous :) I'm hoping now my maternity leave has started, we'll see a little more of each other because I miss her. If and when baby Lewis is christened, she will be his godmother without question. We've already booked her for babysitting in October when we go see Lee Evans!!!
My other friend is my older sister Keira, I see lots more of her now I'm on maternity leave and live closer to her. It's nice having a sister you can consider a friend. I just wish me and hubby had a few more friends, probably more mature friends as most of our friends our own age are only into going round town on the razz, whereas we much prefer quiet pubs with background music and a good chat. Maybe we are old before our years???
Not been and posted for a couple of days due to the glorious weather we're getting at the moment. I thought April was renouned for showers? Not this week! Yesterday me and hubby went to Cannon Hall Gardens for a nice stroll and an ice-cream. I struggled a little with the strolling and we kept having to find a bench but it was totally worth the pain. Beautiful days like that with the one you love puts life into perspective and you seem to appreciate it more.
We did the same today, a nice walk and an ice-cream followed by lunch in an old hotel/ pub restaurant (where we got married none the less!) that has been refurbished. Simply divine. Oh, we called to visit my mother bear this morning too. Not seen her in a while and while parents are made to annoy you, the trick is if you don't see them THAT often they annoy you a little less! She's knitted a lovely blanket for Baby Lewis and sorted some of my nephews clothes out for us which was nice. Also got a nice little basket of practical goodies from my favourite auntie and uncle.
I'm getting REALLY excited for bump to arrive now. We are 34 +1 today so if he decides to try and come early again I'll be happy :) Everytime someone asks when I'm due they look completely shocked when I tell them the end of May as aparently, I look ready to POP! I ought to be in the nursery sorting his things out ready for his arrival but on a day like today I'd much rather lounge around and relax. Plus, hubby is in bed as he's on night's tonight so that's a pretty good excuse not to do anything.
Recently been thinking a lot about friends or rather the lack of friends I/we have. We both have friends but we never seem to see much of them anymore. I guess it's due to us being the only married couple. I lost a friend to jealousy recently. She didn't like the fact I was married with a baby on the way and was constantly sniping at me. In the end, I figured if a friend makes you feel rubbish, they aren't that much of a friend. My best friend in the whole wide world forever and ever BFFL (best friend for life) is Batman. Her actual name is Robyn but for as long as I can remember I've called her Batman. Imaginative, I know. We have literally known each other all our lives. She's younger than I am, she's 20 not that it matters. I don't see her too much because, like me she is settled down (not married) she lives with her girlfriend who is older than I am by a couple of years but they are a fantastic match. In my opinion, men SERIOUSLY dipped out when Batman finally admitted she was lesbian. She's gorgeous :) I'm hoping now my maternity leave has started, we'll see a little more of each other because I miss her. If and when baby Lewis is christened, she will be his godmother without question. We've already booked her for babysitting in October when we go see Lee Evans!!!
My other friend is my older sister Keira, I see lots more of her now I'm on maternity leave and live closer to her. It's nice having a sister you can consider a friend. I just wish me and hubby had a few more friends, probably more mature friends as most of our friends our own age are only into going round town on the razz, whereas we much prefer quiet pubs with background music and a good chat. Maybe we are old before our years???
Wednesday, 6 April 2011
A bit of a moan...
This post is going to be mainly a moan and feeling sorry for myself. I've got a cold and I'm ratty because I'm getting no sleep and I feel rubbish!
Yesterday was great, me and Alan went out for lunch and took my older sister Keira and my gorgeous niece, Daisy. We had pizza hut buffet and even though I was sniffly and tired, I really enjoyed it.
Went to the antenatal talks at the hospital yesterday. The midwife kept checking I was OK because I looked so rough ha ha ha! We walked around the labour ward and even looked in one of the rooms I was in the first time I started contracting early! We saw the pool and it made me think I'd like to have a go but Alan's not fussed. Typical bloke thinking his opinion counts when it's ME going through it.
He's in the bad books, kind of. We came home and I moved some of my things off of the sofa so he could sit down but he came in huffing and puffing moving them all again but in an aggresive kind of way. I moved off the sofa and sat on the other one and told him I didn't want to sit with him if he was going to be like that. Best thing is, the kitchen was clean and tidy and the only pots on the side were HIS. The washing pile on the floor is HIS. He does very little cleaning because I do it yet he doesn't appreciate it. I do all the washing, cleaning and tidying so if I leave something out or make a little bit of a mess I should be able to do so without him getting moody about it!
Told him I feel crap this morning and baby Lewis is misbehaving with contractions and he's told me to take it steady but if I don't clean up he will only moan or huff and puff! So I'm going to make the house sparkle before he gets home and I hope he feels guilty for it! Git!!!!!!!
I do love him really but FGS he gets on my nerves sometimes!!!
Yesterday was great, me and Alan went out for lunch and took my older sister Keira and my gorgeous niece, Daisy. We had pizza hut buffet and even though I was sniffly and tired, I really enjoyed it.
Went to the antenatal talks at the hospital yesterday. The midwife kept checking I was OK because I looked so rough ha ha ha! We walked around the labour ward and even looked in one of the rooms I was in the first time I started contracting early! We saw the pool and it made me think I'd like to have a go but Alan's not fussed. Typical bloke thinking his opinion counts when it's ME going through it.
He's in the bad books, kind of. We came home and I moved some of my things off of the sofa so he could sit down but he came in huffing and puffing moving them all again but in an aggresive kind of way. I moved off the sofa and sat on the other one and told him I didn't want to sit with him if he was going to be like that. Best thing is, the kitchen was clean and tidy and the only pots on the side were HIS. The washing pile on the floor is HIS. He does very little cleaning because I do it yet he doesn't appreciate it. I do all the washing, cleaning and tidying so if I leave something out or make a little bit of a mess I should be able to do so without him getting moody about it!
Told him I feel crap this morning and baby Lewis is misbehaving with contractions and he's told me to take it steady but if I don't clean up he will only moan or huff and puff! So I'm going to make the house sparkle before he gets home and I hope he feels guilty for it! Git!!!!!!!
I do love him really but FGS he gets on my nerves sometimes!!!
Monday, 4 April 2011
WANTED: Good Nights Kip...Willing to Pay!!
Oh my goodness, I'm not sure the word tired suffices today. Last night was one hell of a bad night. I think I've come down with a cold (great!) so I had headache, stuffy, runny nose, achey and sore last night. I was awake from 3AM onwards, not good.
Today I've been at my friends office lending a hand or rather, keeping her company because I didn't really DO anything. She didn't have anything organised/planned for me. We went for lunch and it was lovely to catch up though I wish I had stayed at home. I ache really badly and baby Lewis is not a happy bunny today - tummy really tight and sore and constant back ache that will not budge with pain killers.
I came home around 4ish and the plan was to get in the bath however I couldn't face the stairs so have come into the livingroom, turned TV and laptop on and ligged on the sofa feeling sorry for myself. Whoever tells you pregnancy is an enjoyable experience needs to get their bloody facts straight because not all women get the enjoyable pregnancy experience!!!
Alan and I are attending the first of our antenatal classes tomorrow night, not sure what to expect but it's worth a try... I'm hoping we benefit from going to the classes although if its just touring the labour ward and talking about labour...I reckon I could lead the classes myself the amount of times I've been there recently! The midwife recommended going to the classes and while I've been in preterm labour etc I'm no expert on child birth so I'm thinking the classes will be interesting (hopefully...) will keep an open mind though!
Caught sight of myself in a full length mirror today and didn't realise how BIG bump was until then! Holy mother of Mary! We don't have any mirrors in our house that are below waist so I very rarely see myself properly. It came as quite the shock I can tell you. Baby Lewis is one big bubba! I'll get Alan to take a picture later tonight and post the pictures of my bump growth so far.
I'm trying to get up the energy to move off the sofa and upstairs to the bath. Tired, achey and strong (but infrequent) contractions are not a good combination! Yes, the contractions I've had today have been strong and long but not frequent enough to concern me. They aren't unbareable either so while I can cope at home, I will. Hopefully they will either come more regular and more painful and end up in full blown labour OR they will bog off all together and allow me the privilage of enjoying the rest of my pregnancy. Somehow, I don't think either will happen. Just my luck.
This post is pretty random and more rambling than anything so I'm going to sign off now. Not going to delete this post though because I've spent time writing it when I feel so rubbish - thats dedication for you!!
Tomorrow, I might even have the energy to write about my business ideas.... I might not either though so don't get your hopes up!!!
TTFN xx
Today I've been at my friends office lending a hand or rather, keeping her company because I didn't really DO anything. She didn't have anything organised/planned for me. We went for lunch and it was lovely to catch up though I wish I had stayed at home. I ache really badly and baby Lewis is not a happy bunny today - tummy really tight and sore and constant back ache that will not budge with pain killers.
I came home around 4ish and the plan was to get in the bath however I couldn't face the stairs so have come into the livingroom, turned TV and laptop on and ligged on the sofa feeling sorry for myself. Whoever tells you pregnancy is an enjoyable experience needs to get their bloody facts straight because not all women get the enjoyable pregnancy experience!!!
Alan and I are attending the first of our antenatal classes tomorrow night, not sure what to expect but it's worth a try... I'm hoping we benefit from going to the classes although if its just touring the labour ward and talking about labour...I reckon I could lead the classes myself the amount of times I've been there recently! The midwife recommended going to the classes and while I've been in preterm labour etc I'm no expert on child birth so I'm thinking the classes will be interesting (hopefully...) will keep an open mind though!
Caught sight of myself in a full length mirror today and didn't realise how BIG bump was until then! Holy mother of Mary! We don't have any mirrors in our house that are below waist so I very rarely see myself properly. It came as quite the shock I can tell you. Baby Lewis is one big bubba! I'll get Alan to take a picture later tonight and post the pictures of my bump growth so far.
I'm trying to get up the energy to move off the sofa and upstairs to the bath. Tired, achey and strong (but infrequent) contractions are not a good combination! Yes, the contractions I've had today have been strong and long but not frequent enough to concern me. They aren't unbareable either so while I can cope at home, I will. Hopefully they will either come more regular and more painful and end up in full blown labour OR they will bog off all together and allow me the privilage of enjoying the rest of my pregnancy. Somehow, I don't think either will happen. Just my luck.
This post is pretty random and more rambling than anything so I'm going to sign off now. Not going to delete this post though because I've spent time writing it when I feel so rubbish - thats dedication for you!!
Tomorrow, I might even have the energy to write about my business ideas.... I might not either though so don't get your hopes up!!!
TTFN xx
Saturday, 2 April 2011
Happy Mothers Day!!
I did start writing a blog post yesterday but I was too tired to finish it and the content was more rambling than anything so I gave it up. Pregnancy is sometimes far from flattering!
This morning I had strict orders to stay in all day until I had a knock at the door. The knock came around 10am so Alan was still here...it was the florists next door, Flowers of Distinction but one to us. They delivered a pink watering can with the most stunning spray of flowers ever, they were from bump! How sweet! The florists are fantastic and their designs are out of this world. Really nice chaps!
Alan buggered off to work at 10:50 and I haven't done HALF the things I planned to do. I've finished my guest blog piece based on weddings for my friend Blue Lights Photography. She's at a wedding fayre today so I should find out the verdict tomorrow when I go into the office to give her a bit of a hand!
I've made homemade scones for the first time ever and they turned out really well!! I'm loving this baking thing I've got going on at the moment. Next time I'm going to make some strawberry pastry tarts, with homemade pastry. If I get good, never know I could end up making the christening cake for Baby Lewis...or not!!!
I should really make some lunch, I'm thinking salad. Although yesterday was really horrible, no matter what I ate it came straight back up! I didn't feel sick or ill, I just threw up whatever I ate (sorry tmi). I'm hoping it's not the same today, although I did read being sick for no reason could be a "clear out"...a sign that labour is on it's way? Who knows. Plenty of braxton hicks today, some are quite strong but we'll see!
Headache is getting worse, maybe a nice relaxing bath after lunch will do me good? I know sitting on this laptop won't so I'm signing off for today.
Happy mothers day to all those lovely yummy mummies out there...hopefully it will be me soon!
This morning I had strict orders to stay in all day until I had a knock at the door. The knock came around 10am so Alan was still here...it was the florists next door, Flowers of Distinction but one to us. They delivered a pink watering can with the most stunning spray of flowers ever, they were from bump! How sweet! The florists are fantastic and their designs are out of this world. Really nice chaps!
Alan buggered off to work at 10:50 and I haven't done HALF the things I planned to do. I've finished my guest blog piece based on weddings for my friend Blue Lights Photography. She's at a wedding fayre today so I should find out the verdict tomorrow when I go into the office to give her a bit of a hand!
I've made homemade scones for the first time ever and they turned out really well!! I'm loving this baking thing I've got going on at the moment. Next time I'm going to make some strawberry pastry tarts, with homemade pastry. If I get good, never know I could end up making the christening cake for Baby Lewis...or not!!!
I should really make some lunch, I'm thinking salad. Although yesterday was really horrible, no matter what I ate it came straight back up! I didn't feel sick or ill, I just threw up whatever I ate (sorry tmi). I'm hoping it's not the same today, although I did read being sick for no reason could be a "clear out"...a sign that labour is on it's way? Who knows. Plenty of braxton hicks today, some are quite strong but we'll see!
Headache is getting worse, maybe a nice relaxing bath after lunch will do me good? I know sitting on this laptop won't so I'm signing off for today.
Happy mothers day to all those lovely yummy mummies out there...hopefully it will be me soon!
Friday, 1 April 2011
I just want a healthy baby
1st April already!!! Luckily no one managed to play any April fools tricks on me...shame I didn't get to play any of my own either :( Oh well!
Today has been great and that was mainly down to a much needed good nights sleep! I went out for a cuppa and a mouch around Asda Living with my big sister this morning. She's got my baby neice in nursery every Friday morning so we had some quality sisterly bonding! One of my many mottos: a brew and a chat, good for the soul :)
We browsed the clothes section and both ended up looking at baby clothes...My neice, Daisy is 1 and I've bought Keira (my sister) a studio sitting with my friend Adele who is an award winning photographer so we found her a gorgeous dress. I could have bought the whole shop but I refrained from it...I only bought a set of vests! They were hard to resist though: hungry caterpillar!!! Too cute!!! I also bought mothers day cards for my mum and Alans.
I went back to my sisters for another brew and a chat. Wow, my soul must be squeeky clean today! Really enjoyed spending some time with my big sister, shes a great support and I'd like to thing I am the same to her.
Alan got up quite early this afternoon so we went for a walk around meadowhall and grabbed some lunch. Nandos mmmm! I had contractions and I was sure they were going to get worse and worse...then they died off!!! I feel like I'm just waiting for it to happen. We are ready for him to come in terms of material things and emotionally. I've been prepared for labour, more times than I care to remember! Its every movement that scares me. I think I'm in labour again. And that's fine...the thing that scares me is that it's going to stop. Again. And then start. Again. The pain of the contractions is extremely intense to the point of pethidine not taking the edge off. I'm not sure how many times I can go through this. How long will my body and my baby cope with this? I don't want either of us to get into any distress. I just want a healthy baby.
Oh well, I'm off to watch TV and write my guest blog for my friend Blue Lights Photography...it's about my wedding. I love weddings, my own and other peoples even if I don't know them! Should be fun! Hopefully, baby Lewis will behave for a while...
Today has been great and that was mainly down to a much needed good nights sleep! I went out for a cuppa and a mouch around Asda Living with my big sister this morning. She's got my baby neice in nursery every Friday morning so we had some quality sisterly bonding! One of my many mottos: a brew and a chat, good for the soul :)
We browsed the clothes section and both ended up looking at baby clothes...My neice, Daisy is 1 and I've bought Keira (my sister) a studio sitting with my friend Adele who is an award winning photographer so we found her a gorgeous dress. I could have bought the whole shop but I refrained from it...I only bought a set of vests! They were hard to resist though: hungry caterpillar!!! Too cute!!! I also bought mothers day cards for my mum and Alans.
I went back to my sisters for another brew and a chat. Wow, my soul must be squeeky clean today! Really enjoyed spending some time with my big sister, shes a great support and I'd like to thing I am the same to her.
Alan got up quite early this afternoon so we went for a walk around meadowhall and grabbed some lunch. Nandos mmmm! I had contractions and I was sure they were going to get worse and worse...then they died off!!! I feel like I'm just waiting for it to happen. We are ready for him to come in terms of material things and emotionally. I've been prepared for labour, more times than I care to remember! Its every movement that scares me. I think I'm in labour again. And that's fine...the thing that scares me is that it's going to stop. Again. And then start. Again. The pain of the contractions is extremely intense to the point of pethidine not taking the edge off. I'm not sure how many times I can go through this. How long will my body and my baby cope with this? I don't want either of us to get into any distress. I just want a healthy baby.
Oh well, I'm off to watch TV and write my guest blog for my friend Blue Lights Photography...it's about my wedding. I love weddings, my own and other peoples even if I don't know them! Should be fun! Hopefully, baby Lewis will behave for a while...
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