1. I’m eating for two – OK so we all know that this isn’t true, you don’t eat for two and your calorie intake doesn’t need doubling when you’re pregnant but hey it’s a damn good excuse to have that cheeky desert after dinner!
2. I need to go shopping – Not something you can get away with every day but when you’re pregnant you need to shop for clothes for yourself and your expanding waistline and for things for bubba – and if you treat yourself to a new handbag, it’s just a reward for all that waddling around the shops you’ve done!
3. I can’t clean up - OK so medically you’re not ill but bloody hell it’s hard work carrying a baby around in your tummy, you don’t need to be on your feet any more than you have to. Plus, loads of women get the nesting instinct in the last few weeks of pregnancy…hubby can do it ‘til then!
4. I need a massage – Professional or a lovely back/foot rub from hubby is good. You might not be aching but how can he argue with the woman carrying his child?!
5. I need new shoes – I threw out most of my shoes before I got pregnant with Alfie because they’d seen better days but when my feet swelled at the end of pregnancy I got to replace a fair few pairs because the shoes I did have weren’t suitable for swollen feet. Hello sexy sandals and cute shoe-pumps.
6. I want to choose the film/what we watch on TV – when hubby is at work and you’re at home with bubba – you won’t have time to watch anything or you’ll be too tired to so you should get to do it before bubba arrives! So what if you do get to watch TV whilst bubba is sleeping and you’re not tired/can’t sleep – hubby will be at work, how will he know!
7. “Not tonight love” – Before if you weren’t in the mood for some cheeky between the sheets you’d have to feign a migraine but now you have a bump in the way – the laws of physics just won’t allow it.
8. Let’s go out – Before bubba is born tell hubby you want to spend “quality time” together because it’ll be hard once your little one appears…it just so happens that the “quality time” is spent at the cinema watching a film of your choice followed by dinner at your favourite restaurant…
9. Can you paint my toe nails, I can’t reach! This is a legitimate excuse; I really couldn’t reach my feet to paint my toe nails. I didn’t need them doing but I was pregnant so hubby was putty in my hands – it only lasts for 9 months ladies make the most of it!
10. I’m too tired to visit your mother – Best excuse ever if you’re not bothered about visiting your in laws – you’re growing a baby in there, it’s tiring work the last thing you want to do is go to your mother in laws house to hear about her latest cake creation and who’s having it off with who in the local pub.
These are just some of the excuses I used whilst I was pregnant, or at least thought about using. Being pregnant is the most wonderful thing in the world but it can also be tiring and stressful, an excuse to get what you want now and then is innocent enough, I’m sure if men went through pregnancy and birth they’d be a LOT worse!
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