How soon is too soon to have another baby? Is it selfish to have another baby so soon after the birth of your youngest/first born? What factors will you consider before having another child? These are all questions I have asked myself and if I’m honest I don’t have the answers. A girl I know [not a friend, an acquaintance] had her baby girl March this year and is already 24 weeks pregnant expecting her second, is that too soon? I don’t think they own a telly in their house. My friend who had her son in April is already planning for her second baby within the next 12 months. Yet another friend is waiting until her little one is out of nappies before she plans her second baby. Everyone is different and circumstances count for a lot but when it comes down to it, is it personal preference, ignorance or a little bit of both?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, discussing it on forums and talking to friends about it. Everyone has their own opinion, some think it’s selfish to have one before the baby is at school age and some think it’s better to have children with ages closer together. When I made the decision a few weeks ago that I’d like to have more children I never thought about when we would try I just decided that I wanted more. Alfie is 3 months old and such a demanding baby as a first time mum I’m learning every day and making plenty of mistakes on the way. Will it be different when baby no2 comes along? Probably not because every baby is different it’s a person at the end of the day, just a lot smaller [and cuter]. And about that, baby no2 – I don’t like that saying. To me, it sounds as if the second baby is second in everything and it’s not – it just arrives second that’s all. A girl I know calls her girls princess no1 and princess no2…pretty sure that may cause upset when they’re older. I’d have to think of another nick name…Alfie was Baby Lewis so we couldn’t use that but I certainly won’t be using baby no2 or anything of the sort. It will be my second baby but by no means second in any other way.
I often sit and gaze at Alfie whilst he’s sleeping, playing or having cuddles with hubby and I and thought to myself how much I love him. There’s nothing quite like a mothers love for her baby, something you can’t fully understand until you become a mother. I love him more than anyone and anything. That’s just it though…I love him more than anyone; does that mean I’ll love him more than our next bubba? Will I show favouritism because Alfie was my first born or will Alfie get less of my attention because bubba is my “baby” – the youngest of the family? In my family my brother who is the eldest gets away with murder with my mother, as does my little sister. Me and my older sister are the “middle” children and don’t have that kind of relationship with my mum. Is the first born, last born thing real? I can’t imagine loving anyone as much as I love Alfie but then I guess a mothers’ love for her children is limitless and knows no bounds, right? Right.
Oh and if you were wondering, I’m not pregnant…
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