This time last year: Part 1

This time last year I was discussing with hubby the pending arrival of our baby boy. I had been in early labour at 27 weeks and had it stopped with a drug and from then on I was in hospital with slow labour pretty much every other week.

This time last year I was 41 weeks pregnant. I'd had my second sweep done by a lovely midwife at my house. She was positive something would start soon. I wasn't buying it, we'd been told this in previous weeks when my contractions were off the charts. They tailed off, they always did. She said she had given me a "good going over" - her words, not mine. I wasn't confident I'd be meeting my baby boy any time soon.

Little did I know my waters would break the following day...

Bootcamp Days 9 and 10

I have been terrible at keeping my food diary this week. I've had a lot on my mind and whilst I've stuck to the diet and training plan my heart and head have been elsewhere. Yesterday was a day I'd rather forget so let's start a fresh with day 10:

Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: Salad
Dinner: Jacket potato with salad
Snacks: a hand full of nuts this morning

I have the work out to do when I get home from work. I'm still aching from the last one!

Nursery Drop Off Shenanigans

Hubby left for work at 4:45am this morning meaning I had to get Alfie to nursery and all the bits in between. We usually start off the day (today it was 6:30am) with a bottle of milk (for Alfie) and a cuddle on the sofa whilst watching whatever's on CBeebies. We have a little play then we fight whilst I dress him (must take after his mummy and prefer to be in the buff!), we play some more then we brush our teeth and head off to nursery...then I'll come home and sort myself out for work.

This morning started out like that...I left him to play whilst I put some clothes on to drop him off at nursery. Alfie is at the stage where he's into everything so I really don't like leaving the room for too long so I shoved my jeans and a vest top on and off I went. We had 15 mins in the garden thanks to the glorious weather and luck was on my side in that the neighbour I flashed a few weeks ago (because of a scary encounter with a spider) wasn't in the garden...thank the lord I'd missed him again!

7:55 came and we set off for nursery. It's just up the road from us so I didn't bother with the pram I just carried Alfie in my arms. Usually we're the first to arrive at nursery but today because of our little bit of time in the garden we were the 3rd to arrive. We were behind Audi dad and another dad I haven't seen before.

We took our little ones in and were saying our goodbyes. I passed Alfie over to the nursery nurse and he decided to keep hold of my top. In full view of Audi dad and new dad (and the 3 nursery staff) down came my top and out popped my (very pert thanks to the boob job) bra covered breasts. Thankfully I had a nice bra on (gotta see the brighter side of things!) but since having Alfie I've gone up a cup size and the bra in question was a cup size too small leaving little to the imagination.

Clearly I was embarrassed and promptly removed Alfies gripping hand from my top and pulled it back up. I'm not sure if it was out of shock, jest or what but rather than turning away and leaving me to deal with my embarrassment alone, Audi dad said "whoops-a-daisy!"....

Fucking whoops-a-daisy? Seriously? I flashed my scantily clad chest and he said whoops-a-daisy? Holy shit I'm never going to be able to look him in the eye again. He's probably told aaaallll his colleagues and male friends and before you know it I'll be known as "tits McGee" or something to that effect (yknow like I've nicknamed him Audi dad). Brilliant. I've got to do the pick up later too!

Ah well, at least I've got a nice pair ;-) always looking on the bright side!

Bootcamp Day 8

Yesterday was a busy day so the work out was a late one and it was a killer. They're certainly getting more intense and I ache in places I never knew could ache this morning! Ouch! All worth it though!

My food:

Breakfast: Veggie stir fry (yes you read correctly, this was my brekki!)
Lunch: Jacket potato with side salad
Dinner: Rice and steamed veg

A game of hide & seek

This was me before I got pregnant with Alfie.  I think you'll agree I had to have had some bollocks to do this shoot and this was pretty "tame" for me.  I've done a lot of implied nude, boudoir and other such shoots with different photographers...Once upon a time I had bollocks, gumption, guts...whatever you want to call it...I had confidence.

I want to feel like this again, I don't mean have the exact same figure again 'cause lets face it after having a baby your figure is never the same again.  Up until a couple of weeks ago apart from a couple of "niggles" I still felt like I had the bollocks to do this again.  I even talked about doing another "one off" shoot...and now?  Now I can't seem to find the confidence to even TALK to some people or to ask a question never mind taking my bloody kit off for a couple of hours in front of a camera!

Once upon a time, I had confidence.  Then one day, it decided to run away and play a long game of hide and seek.  Let me know if you happen to see it won't you?  I quite liked having gumption.

A Night Off

Last night was the worst night I've had with Alfie in ages. I'd say "we" had a bad night considering hubby was home but that's a sore subject. I'm knackered and I look even worse than usual which is rubbish considering my achievement on Bootcamp at Home. He was up all night and I think I've had about 4 hours of broken sleep. Yuck!

I've been thinking about this for a while but I always put it to the back of my mind because I feel so selfish. Thinking it just makes me feel guilty. Then this morning, something clicked and I realised I'm important too. What am I getting at I hear you ask??? I want a bloody night off! A night off all to myself that doesn't involve my hubby or Alfie. A night away to be blunt.

I love my baby boy more than words could possibly express and by getting a night off, I don't mean from him. I mean a night to myself. It's not the same. If I went anywhere even just for a night I'd miss him like crazy but it'd do me good. I'd feel a lot better for it and I know he'd be in good hands and well looked after.

My ideal night off? Dinner somewhere nice with good company, maybe a couple of drinks followed by a night in a hotel with a big bath tub. I could have uninterrupted sleep without a snoring, clumsy, pillow steeling husband. I could wake up naturally or to my 7:30am alarm - see I wouldn't be lazy!!!

Selfish? Maybe.

Do I deserve it? Definitely.

So get emailing the hotel reservations over to me, yeah? ;-)

Bootcamp Day 7

It's been a week since my first measurements and since I started my 28 day bootcamp journey. I won't lie and tell you it's been easy because it hasn't but I also won't exaggerate how hard it's been. The hardest thing has been believing I can do it; I've had to really get my head around a complete lifestyle overhaul but once I got stuck in and realised I could do it, things got easier and temptations became fewer and further between.

Today we had to take our measurements again. I was a little worried that I wouldn't have lost or I'd have put on. I have no idea why I had so little faith in myself when I've stuck to the plan like a demon. So without further ado here are my latest measurements:

Bust: 32" (2" loss)
Waist: 27" (2" loss)
Umbilical: 31.5" (1.5" loss)
Hips: 35" (1" loss)
Right thigh: 20" (1.5" loss)
Left thigh: 20.5" (1.5" loss)

Please feel free to applaud all my hard work! I know I did when I eventually got the courage to check the differences! So chuffed with myself and the results have spurred me on to continue the hard work next week! The work outs are really tough but by the last week I'll no doubt be able to hammer them ;-)

So my meals are all planned and prepped for today...

Breakfast: Melon
Lunch: Roast chicken and steamed veg
Dinner: Veggie stir fry
Snacks: Nuts (if needed)

I'm at my mother in laws house today who owns a baking business and the house is always filled with baked goodies but temptation is taking a back seat today because there's no way I'm ruining my results!

Bootcamp Day 6

Yesterday was a productive day on the bootcamp diet! I managed 2 fairly long walks with Alfie in tow in the pram, hills and all! It was his cakey baby photo shoot which was amazing and deserves a whole post to itself when I get time.

Ok Saturday 19th May, day 6 of bootcamp at home went like this:

Breakfast: Grapes and nuts
Lunch: M&S salad (I was in town)
Dinner: Bootcamp fried rice
Snacks: None

Didn't drink enough yesterday at all so felt a little head achy towards the end of the day but alls good in the hood now I'm suitably hydrated.

Bootcamp Day 5

Day 5 of bootcamp went well, spent the morning at work, afternoon with my little family and the evening killing myself with the work out! All was good though and meals went like this:

Breakfast: Melon and grapes
Lunch: Egg salad
Dinner: Roast chicken with new potatoes and lots of veg
Snacks: None! Check me out!

Today is Alfie's Cakey Baby photo shoot with my friend Adele at Blue Lights Photography (www.bluelightsphotography.co.uk) sorry I can't link her properly, I'm blogging from the blogger app on my phone! I may crave cake but I promise I won't touch a crumb!

Bootcamp Day 4

I'm afraid this post won't be a positive one so I'll keep it as short as I can to avoid boring you with my whining. I've had a really rather rubbish day and it's not something that's going to get solved any time soon which has put me on even more of a downer. I've wanted chocolate, crisps and coffee a day all because I'm feeling "that road out" as my nanna in law would say.

I haven't strayed and food-wise I've managed to stick to the diet really well. I came home to have lunch with the hubby considering he's been off work and I thought it might cheer me up a bit. Fluid wise I haven't drank no where near enough. I haven't had my usual lemon and hot water or 2l bottle if water at work. I don't even think I've drank 0.5l which is terrible even if I wasn't taking part in bootcamp.

I've posted on the private bootcamp group and told them about my rubbish day and not drinking enough. I'm so glad I did because pretty much straight away I got a positive outlook from someone else and it put me in the right frame of mind again. Support definitely plays a big part of bootcamp for me, it's invaluable to succeeding or feeling like you can do it.

So, today's meals went a little like this:

Breakfast: Banana and grapes
Lunch: Jacket potato (plain) with salad
Dinner: Chicken stir fry
Snacks: Nuts (probably too many but have removed them from my desk now)

So I'm going to sign off now and go drink some water and probably do some more venting (moaning) about my bad day.

Staying positive isn't easy but it is achievable with a little effort.

Bootcamp Day 3

Ouch, ouch and ouch!!! I'm posting this from the comfort of a nice hot bath as I ache from top to toe! Yes it's a sign that the work outs are working but bugger me I didn't realise I was so unfit! So, you're getting a blog post from a wet and naked me...enjoy!

Today was the second work out, Monday being the first. I have decided that burpees and push ups are my arch enemy! I hate them with a burning passion but by the end of the 28 days of bootcamp I plan to have conquered them and made them my bitch! For now though, I will continue to screw up my face and shudder at the sheer mentioning of them!

I work sat at a desk all day so as Nikki advised I got up and moved about at every opportunity to avoid ceasing up!! No one has said anything at work but I'm pretty sure I'm walking funny so it's only a matter of time before the "John Wayne" jokes start rolling my way.

Today's meals went a little like this:

Breakfast: Grapes and a few nuts
Lunch: Egg salad
Dinner: Bootcamp burger (peppered) with new potatoes and salad
Snacks: Banana

I think I'm settling into the diet fairly well now although the real trial comes in just over a weeks time when it's Alfie's birthday party! The plan is to make lots of things I can have prior to the party or even eat my lunch before people arrive as no doubt I'll be too busy entertaining to eat.

So day three is almost down and only another 25 to go. I can do it!

Bootcamp Day 2

Day 2 of bootcamp but not much to report other than I managed to yet again decline coffee and cake at work. I have more will power than I thought! Go me! It's definitely a mind over matter thing when it comes to eating; I've been craving things I can't have but I know I'm only craving them because they're "not allowed" so I'll just have to get over it. There are 3 chocolate covered raisins in a jar in my desk that have been calling my name and my heart keeps telling me, "surely three won't hurt..." but my head is telling me "yes they will! Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" so no chocolate raisins for me then.

Meals today have been pretty yummy to say I'm on a detox diet. Think I'm over doing it with the nuts as a snack though so must cut down on that tomorrow.

Breakfast: banana omelette and a quarter of a small melon

Lunch: Potato salad and two boiled egg (no dressings of any kind, don't like them even if they were allowed!)

Dinner: Chicken risotto (made with vegetable stock only)

There's no training to do tonight, it's a days rest thankfully. I thought this morning perhaps I'd slacked on the Day 1 fitness test because I didn't ache...no the aching came this afternoon at work. Not the terrible, can't move aching but enough to know I've done some exercise. My poor body doesn't know what's hit it! It'll be worth it in the end though when I can wear the clothes I want and feel good about it!

Getting teased at work a little for even considering dieting. Not in a bad way, their reasoning is that I don't need to do it, I'm fine as I am. Slim enough so to say. None of them have seen me naked. You have though, if you've followed my blog for some time. When the results are in, if I feel like I have achieved what I want to I'm treating myself to a new outfit.

I'm off for a much needed bath now to help me relax after a long day at the office!

Bootcamp Day 1

If you know me personally or follow me on Twitter, you'll know this month I have decided to take part in bootcamp at home with Foxy Fitness  I've known Nikki a good few years now and I trust her completely when it comes to fitness and nutrition so thought sod it, let's go for it!


My reasons for joining boot camp? I want to lose the baby weight, feel confident in what I look like, be healthier and feel good about myself.


My goals?
To get back to the size I was before I had Alfie.
To feel confident to wear a bikini and not a structured (horrible) swimming cossy
To be able to wear the white top (shows a bit of skin) I've always loved


Today is day 1 of bootcamp, below are my before statistics and photos:

Measurements:

                               Bust 34"
                               Waist 29"

                               Umbillical 33"

                               Hips 36"

                               Right thigh 21.5"

                               Left thigh 22"

Day 1 Nutrition:   

                              Breakfast: Berry smoothie made with almond milk and berries

                              Lunch: Tuna Salad

                              Snacks: Nuts
                              Dinner: Chicken stir fry

                              Drinks: 2 cups of hot water with lemon and 3 litres of water.

Just done the first work out and I'm knackered so I'm off to watch some rubbish TV followed by a bath and early to bed!

Day 1 conclusion: Hard work mentally and physically.