Happy 3 Months Little Man

Yesterday was Tuesday but not only that it was the 30^th of August.  Do you know what that means?  It means my gorgeous little boy is 3 months old.  Oh how the 3 months have flown.  Here’s a little letter to my gorgeous boy:

Dear Alfie,

Yesterday you were 3 months old yet it seems like only yesterday that you were born.  You’re getting so big now; you weighed 19lb 8oz at your last weigh in!  You’re a little smiler most of the time and even wake up with a big grin on your face.  You really love to play pat-a-cake and you love to hear me sing “The Grand Old Duke of York” to you while I bounce you on my knee; it’s your favourite song! 

You still love bath time and you love to do big splashes and get mummy and daddy wet through.  You’re in your big boy cot now and it’s attached to mummy’s side of the bed because you love to sleep with us and we love to have you close to us.  You’re getting better at going in the car seat, you don’t cry all the time anymore – just sometimes.  You’ve visited a lot of places since you were born and I have started to sort out your memory box, baby book and scrap book.  We still take photographs of you every day because you’re growing up so fast. 

You have your Welcome to the World party next month and we are all excited about it, I have been planning it all month.  You’ve been poorly again this month you had a virus and a high temperature but you were much better after lots of cuddles from mummy and some yummy calpol medicine.

We love you oh so very much little boy, as each day passes we love you more and more.  You are our world and we are so happy you are our very beautiful baby boy.  Happy 3 months little man!

Lots of love, cuddles & kisses

Mummy & Daddy

Top Ten Tuesday - Before Baby Arrives

Following on from last week with my Top Ten Tuesday – BabyBuys, this week I have decided to concentrate on ten things to do whilst you’re pregnant/ before baby comes.  These are the things that I did/ wish I'd done before Alfie came:

1.       Date nights and dinners with friends.  A few hours before my waters broke, I was sat in a pub restaurant having lunch with my husband – we went out at least 3 times a week, if you can’t afford to go out a DVD and a cheeky pizza is just as good.  This is what we were doing the very moment my waters broke!  We also had lots of dinner plans with friends, we went for dinner and to see a movie on my due date!

2.       Soak in the bath for HOURS.  If you’re like me and you love a good soak in the bath, get them in while you can because they will be few and far between these luscious soaks in the tub!  You get to have time to bathe when you have a baby but usually it’s short or with baby.

3.       Buy yourself something nice – not something you need, it has to be something you WANT that isn’t baby or pregnancy related.  It will be a long time before you treat yourself after baby arrives, you’ll find your clothes interest shifts to baby clothes etc!

4.       Read a book if you love to read because when baby is here, you’ll spend your spare time doing everything you don’t enjoy.  If you’re not a book worm, watch a few DVD’s get your feet up and enjoy a good weepy, apparently good for bringing on labour (old wives tale!)

5.       Dress up.  I’m not talking fancy dress, although if that’s what floats your boat do it!  I wanted to be heavily pregnant at Halloween so I could paint my bump up as a pumpkin!  Seriously though, go out and get dolled up because for the next few months and even years your clothes will be covered in baby sick/poo/wee/milk/food/spit.  Dressing up also makes you feel good about yourself so do it yummy mummy J

6.       Pregnancy massage – I can’t recommend this enough!  Whether you suffer with a bad back or not it’s fabulous for helping you to relax.  Pregnancy massage is safe from 12weeks + by a trained professional – some essential oils aren’t suitable during pregnancy but if you go to a reputable beauty spa that offers pre/post natal massage they will advise accordingly.

7.       Cook meals and freeze them in advance – I wish I’d taken this advice myself because for the first few weeks of Alfie’s life we lived on takeaways, not great especially if you’re breastfeeding.  Make up big batches of meals that can be frozen and it’s a life saver for a quick meal because you need to keep your strength up mummy!

8.       Have a heart to heart with your partner.  Pregnancy can be stressful on relationships but having a new baby to look after can put even more strain on a relationship.  Work out how you plan on getting time together, tell each other how you feel, let each other know that if things get tough you’re going through it together.  This was a life saver for me and my hubby as I knew I’d be irate at times if I was tired.

9.       Have a baby shower/ get together with friends baby related – I wish I’d done this because it’s something nice for you to enjoy with friends before baby comes that gets you and them even more excited for your new arrival.  Friends can often become a little distant after you have a baby especially if they don’t have them themselves because they can’t relate/you don’t have time etc…spending time with friends now especially at a baby shower helps them realise they are still important to you and your baby.  It also helps friends feel involved.

10.   Blog it!  Do it how I have or in a personal diary but either way I really recommend blogging from pregnancy.  Writing things down helps you work your thoughts out, it helps you get things off your chest and it records all those magical and not so magical moments for you to tell baby when he/she is here.  I also started a personal diary for Alfie that’s handwritten.

Date Night

Thursday was our very first date night since having Alfie and the very first time I have left him.  We made the decision last week to have a date night this week as we wanted to see the Inbetweeners film.  I asked my friend, Batman (obviously her real name is Robyn…) to babysit for us as she’s looked after her nephew and niece from being tiny baby’s and I trust her completely.  She couldn’t wait to babysit, I on the other hand was slightly apprehensive about the whole thing.

I spent Thursday day time with Alfie close to me all day, knowing that later on I had to leave him with someone else.  We went out for a coffee with my sister, niece, sister in law and nephew while hubby was at work.  When hubby came home, we went shopping to buy Alfie some new vests and a couple of outfits (he’s growing too fast!).  I bought myself a red hair colour too but that’s another story.  Alfie and I spent the afternoon playing and while he napped I cleaned and then he’d eat and play some more.  I told Batman that hubby would pick her up at 7:30 and I would have Alfie all sorted by this time.  I had a plan.

At 6:00pm I bathed Alfie and then fed him and at 7:00pm he was ready for bed.  I stayed with him until he fell asleep.  If he’d have woken up I don’t think I could have left the house.  He was sound asleep by the time we left at 8:00pm.  I gave Batman a run-down of instructions should he wake/get upset/if she needed us.  She had no credit on her mobile so she wouldn’t be able to text me, I told her she should use our landline to call me if she needed me.  So we were off, after checking on Alfie again.  We arrived at the cinema and parking as usual was a nightmare!  Part of me hoped we’d not get parked and have to go home.  I was missing my baby.  We got parked and went into the cinema.  It was packed.

The film, as I expected was hilarious and I laughed a lot although Alfie was in the back of my mind the whole time.  I couldn’t completely relax.  I checked my phone signal constantly just in case Batman was trying to reach me for whatever reason.  Each time I checked, my phone signal was full and there were no signs of Batman needing or wanting to contact me.  It was lovely to have some time alone with hubby although because we were at the cinema we didn’t really talk apart from the car journey there and back.  I think the next time we have a date night we’re going to possibly go for drinks with friends for an hour that way we can talk and have fun together.  When the film finished I was the first person out of my seat and out of screen 8.  Alan took the long way home which I questioned.  I think he was trying to test me.  All I wanted to do was go home.

We got home and I went straight upstairs to check on Alfie.  He was sound asleep, snoring lightly.  Beautiful.  I came downstairs and talked to Batman to see how he’d been.  The ignorant neighbours had been doing DIY in their house and woke him up a couple of times but aside from that, he’d been as good as gold.  He didn’t even notice I wasn’t there.  I wasn’t sure if I was happy about this or not.  I’m still not sure today.  I had a catch up with Batman before hubby took her home at 11:30pm.  When hubby got home we went to up to bed because we were up early Friday morning and quite frankly, I just wanted to be close to my baby.

So, I managed to leave Alfie.  Was it easy? Hell no!  Do I want to do it again? Eventually.  Will it be any time soon? Probably not.  I think on hubby’s next day off from work, we’ll have a lovely family day out and then when Alfie is in bed we’ll have a lovely dinner at the table together where we can catch up and spend some time together that doesn’t involve the tele, laptop or our phones [best make sure it’s not a soap night then!]

Silent Sunday

Children are like drugs

I read this somewhere the other day:

Children are like drugs.

They ruin your body and fry your brain cells.

They're expensive and addictive.

But the high is unlike anything else.

Alfie & I having night time cuddles last night

I couldn't agree more.

Where babies come from...



R as flower girl on our wedding day

After my x-ray appointment this afternoon, we decided to visit hubby’s mum.  We arrived and Alfie was sleeping peacefully, cue four year old R [niece] and therefore cue Alfie’s tears.  She seems to have that not so magic touch in not only waking him up but making him cry.  R is an over excitable four years old, possibly due to a combination her excessive sweet consumption, late bedtimes and the ability to wrap her parent’s around her little finger.  She is an extremely adorable curly haired, red headed little girl that looks like butter wouldn’t melt – until she opens her mouth that is!  R always gets very excited when she sees Alfie, so excited she gets her she’s/he’s mixed up and poor Alfie often gets referred to as a girl [she]!  It’s lovely that she is excited to see him but she gets in his face a lot and often makes him cry by being too boisterous and loud.  Today she wanted to feed Alfie but he’s had tummy ache all day and hasn’t been in a great mood not to mention he weighs almost as much as we do so we said no, according to R this meant no one loved her.  We assured her we do but she insisted we didn’t!  Annoying but very adorable.

We changed the subject quite swiftly before R felt the need to attention seek more.  She’s cute but sometimes very annoying.  The subject somehow turned around to having babies, where they came from and all that malarkey.  A funny old subject when discussing this with a four year old, especially one who is quite forward.  Hubby’s older sister thought it appropriate to tell R that babies come out of ladies “fluffies” to which R replied, “No they don’t! They come out of their tummy!”  She went on to explain babies get out of their mummy’s tummy by squeezing daddy’s hand tightly.  If you haven’t given birth before, I can assure you this isn’t how babies get out of your tummy, unfortunately.   Alan’s mother quite inappropriately asked R if babies get pumped into mummy’s tummy by daddy.  I couldn’t believe she said this!  R quickly responded with a “No they don’t” and advised us all that babies get in mummy’s tummy by “magic” – this has some truth to it, depending on if you’re speaking to the man or the woman ;-)

Aren’t kids funny?

Top Ten Tuesday: Baby Buys

I had a brain wave this morning whilst trying to think of tips…I thought rather than have a “Top Ten Tips Tuesday” why not just have a “Top Ten Tuesday”, it’s far less restrictive for me to write and you to read.  Last week I had ten tips, this week I’m going to have my ten buys, so here it goes:

1.       Swing – we bought this one – obviously a luxury buy but when he suffered with colic it was a life saver and even now with his reflux it’s ideal.  We alternate between his bouncer chair and his swing.

2.       Electric breast pump – we bought this one – if you can’t afford to buy one, speak to your health visitor or midwife they can put you in touch with breastfeeding support/link workers who can hire them out to you.  Some places ask for a refundable deposit and others don’t, this depends on your area.  We have a manual pump, an electric pump AND we hired a double pump from my breastfeeding link worker to help encourage my milk supply.  A must if you’re breastfeeding.

3.       Sling – we bought ours from Victoria the SlingLady – it’s a wrap which is much nicer for me to wear and Alfie to sit in.  They’re great for bonding, breastfeeding and giving you your freedom back.  I reviewed our sling here and also put this in my top ten tips here

4.       Reusable nappies – we bought these and are waiting to try these there are a few reasons for our choice in going cloth, firstly they’re nicer on babies bum (no nasty chemicals), they’re kinder to the environment and most importantly kinder to your pocket – the initial outlay can be expensive but once you’ve got them, there’s no need to buy more (one size’s only).  Most you can put in with your normal wash (remember those colour catchers!) meaning it isn’t more washing as you might think it would be.

5.       Olive oil – we use an organic one and no not for my cooking, (we do use it for cooking we have a separate bottle) it’s for baby massage and baby’s dry skin.  It’s not only cheaper than expensive branded baby oils/moisturisers but it is far more effective and kinder to baby’s skin, even health professionals recommend it!

6.      Travel play mat – we have this one but it was given to us by my sister, we didn’t buy it.  Great for keeping in the boot of the car when you’re out visiting family and friends.  A lot of people have laminate floor these days which isn’t ideal for baby to lay on – plus you know where your mats been and that it’s clean, their floor might not be!

7.       Bath seat – we have this one.  We were given a baby bath but it’s been used a hand full of times.  Using a bath seat frees up your hands to bath a wriggly new born baby safely and easily.

8.       Bibs & muslin cloths and lots of them – I have a box full of bibs and lots of muslin cloths because whilst babies are beautiful they’re messy creatures!  You can never have too many bibs/cloths and they’ll last you years.

9.       Thermometer – you have to be extremely careful when it comes to babies and temperatures as they can have a fit if they over heat.  The best types of thermometers to have is the one that you put in baby’s ear or the one you put under their arm as they’re more accurate.  The forehead strips while they are easier to use, only tell you the temperature of baby’s skin.

10.   A baby box/book/scrap book (or all three like me!) – you probably already have one of these and are building it up.  I’ve been building Alfie’s up from pregnancy.  I bought a plain box and I’m decorating it for him to add that personal touch.  I have things like leaflets, parking tickets and attraction passes that will go in his scrap book – each page dedicated to another special day.  His baby book is The Very Hungry Caterpillar and has lots of things for us to fill in.

Sex After Birth

I won’t go into the story of the birds and the bees but we all know how babies end up in mummy’s tummy.  We all know it takes two to tango.  Sex during pregnancy and after birth seems a bit of a taboo subject and a subject I’m going to tackle focusing on my own personal experience.

Obviously we had sex to conceive Alfie but at 6 weeks pregnant I suffered with severe hyperemesis gravidarum and that lasted up until 16 weeks pregnant and even then it only calmed down and I was sick until the day Alfie was born.  So with the sickness, sex was off the menu and that included our wedding night.  We did have sex once on honeymoon but it was more out of guilt than lust on my part, I felt so bad for my new husband going from 3 times a day to bugger all a week!  After that, I just never felt “in the mood” so we never bothered, much to hubby’s disappointment.  At around 39 weeks, we gave it a try to see if it would kick start labour as the saying goes.  It didn’t work and it felt very awkward but we managed to laugh about it.

12 weeks after giving birth, I have no desire to have sex.  I don’t feel desirable or attractive despite my husband’s best and most inventive advances!  I think given half the chance, he’d have had me in bed the night I came home from hospital!  Aside from not feeling attractive, I don’t feel ready to have sex again.  The feeling is almost like being a virgin and considering sex for the first time, it’s daunting and scary and sometimes you’re just not mentally ready for it.  Then there’s the physical side of things, with my dislocated coccyx (did I mention that before?) and the fissure, I’m in pain as it is without trying to have sex which may make things feel even worse!

Hubby mentions sex now and again, often with a sexual innuendo or cheeky remark but he understands it isn’t that easy for me.  Hubby understands it’s not easy for me and equally I understand that the frustration (and not just sexual) for him must be terrible too.  I often worry that our sexless marriage will bore him if I don’t get my act together soon and he may leave me.  Hubby assures me on a regular basis that he loves me and our son and although sex would be nice, it isn’t the be all and end all for him.  I still can’t help feeling guilty though and his understanding makes me feel even worse.  I wonder will I ever feel sexy again?  Will I ever want to be intimate again?  I don’t know the answer, I probably will but only time will tell.

Thursday, hubby and I are having our first ever date night that is if I have the guts to carry it out.  I asked one of my best, oldest and most trusted friends to baby sit Alfie for a few hours while hubby and I go to the cinema to see The Inbetweeners and maybe some nosh afterwards.  I’m dreading it already but it’s got to happen at some point – we have Lee Evans tickets in October!  I’ll probably be on my phone checking up on Alfie every 2 minutes but I need to learn that my husband needs my attention too.  I spend all my time with Alfie and when he’s asleep he’s on my mind or I’m doing something for him, lately my husband has been a little pushed out of it all.  I plan to get a little dolled up (as much as a visit to the cinema permits, don’t worry I won’t be in my clubbing gear – not that I own any clubbing gear!) and to enjoy the time as much as I can with my husband.  The whole of our marriage the main focus has either been being pregnant or having Alfie and while focusing on Alfie will never change for either of us, we can just for one night be a couple.  I hope.

I know one day we will have sex again because I want to.  I don’t feel like it yet but I know I want to feel intimate with my husband again and I know that time will heal any physical or mental things I am going through that is stopping us.  My husband would happily come home from work tomorrow morning to ravish me but he won’t even try because he knows it’s just not that easy for me.  He understands that physically and mentally I’m not ready although I have to admit I often use the physical as an excuse because it’s easier to explain than the mental aspect of things with a lot less questions.  With the physical pains stopping me (coccyx and fissure) he knows that they will heal but the mental issues aren’t on a time scale –they could last weeks, months or even years!  I’m hoping for the months, obviously.  I have to give myself credit though, 12 weeks after having a baby is no time at all in the grand scheme of things.  My husband loves me and I very much love my husband and we both still find each other attractive – my feelings of sexiness just aren’t there yet but as long as we talk about things it will never be a massive issue.

The key to a successful marriage is not sex it certainly helps but it isn’t the key, no that is a combination of love, understanding and communication, sex is just the thing you do when all of the above are in harmony.

Silent Sunday

 

Time Flies

As I type this, my beautiful baby boy is asleep next to me on the sofa (I won’t mention how it took me an hour to get him to have a nap!!!) and he still manages to take my breath away.  I think he’ll do that to me forever.  I always knew I’d love him more than anything but from the first time I saw him, my heart swelled with love and it’s been doing it since the day he was born.  I hate the expression, “words cannot express” because to me, it seems like a cop out but on this occasion, words on their own don’t even come close to expressing how much I love him.
 

In just ten days Alfie will be three months old.  THREE MONTHS.  Where the hell did all that time go?!  I can’t quite believe how quickly time has gone by [warning cliché alert!] it seems like only yesterday he was born.  Aside from his health problems it’s been a wonderful [almost] three months and I have loved every single second – including the not so good days.  He is developing and growing up so quickly, I’m scared to blink just in case I miss something.  He can almost roll over from his back to his tummy and tries quite frequently.  He can hold his head up with no problems when he’s having tummy time or sat on my knee.  He smiles, laughs and chats away to himself or me.  Over the last couple of days, he puts EVERYTHING in his mouth – toys, bibs, clothes, hands, blankets…you name it he’ll have a good old chew on it!

Our health visitor Nicola has said she recommends we wean Alfie at 16-20 weeks because of his size; milk alone won’t satisfy him for much longer.  WHO (World Health Organisation) don’t recommend weaning before 6 months unless for medical reasons.  I was quite shocked that our health visitor thinks we should consider weaning so early considering the guidelines for weaning.  I always said I would wean at 6 months but I will take Alfie’s cue for when he’s ready.  I’ve done a little bit of research into weaning and it’s a complete mine field!  It seems there are two types of weaning, pureed foods either shop bought jars or homemade or BLW (baby led weaning).  Baby led weaning is what we wanted to do but it isn’t recommended until 6 months.  BLW is when you give your child sticks or bits of food and they feed themselves if and when they are ready.  It can be messy but it helps develop good hand eye coordination and helps them interact with the family at meal times.  If we do have to wean Alfie at 16-20 weeks, obviously I’ll give him pureed food until he’s old enough for BLW.  We made the decision when I was pregnant that Alfie would eat whatever we eat (healthy foods only, obviously!) plenty of fruit and veg.  I’m playing the weaning thing by ear, I’m sure Alfie will let me know when it’s time as much as I’d like to wait until he’s 6 month if he needs it to be earlier, so be it.

On another matter, it seems like everyone is having babies or getting pregnant now.  I’m sure 2011/12 will be considered baby boom years!  I have a friend who is due early September, a friend who’s girlfriend is scheduled to have their twins next Wednesday, Alan’s workmate’s girlfriend who was induced yesterday (no news as yet), a friend who had her little girl on Thursday and loads of friends who are pregnant.  If that doesn’t make you broody, I don’t know what does!  I think Alan has worked out I don’t want to rule out having other babies just yet and whilst he isn’t jumping for joy at the idea he hasn’t said no and if he has, I haven’t been listening to him!  Obviously I don’t want another baby just yet; I’m enjoying my time with Alfie first but in a few years I would seriously consider it.  Maybe.  Anyway for all those mummies who are waiting for their babies to arrive, good luck, best wishes and lots of love – welcome to mummyhood it’s the nicest job in the world.

A Mothers Instincts

The one thing I’ve learnt about being a mummy is to trust my instinct because it’s usually right.  Having a baby grow inside you for 9 months, bringing him/her into the world either naturally or not, having that first cuddle, the first feed (breast or bottle) even the first nappy change.  Your baby knows you better than anyone because you’ve been with him for 9 months, nurturing him, talking to him, loving him.  All of this more importantly means that you know your baby better than anyone.  Forget the experts; forget what other mums say/do ultimately YOU know your baby better than anyone in this world.  Of course you can listen to advice but when it comes down to it, the decision will always be yours.

I have been “in tune” with Alfie since day POP, the day I found out I was pregnant but I became even more in tune with him when I first felt him move and then even more so when I went into early labour at 27+ weeks (luckily it was stopped) and continued to go into and out of early labour for the rest of my pregnancy (41 weeks).  I knew then he was going to be a fussy baby, not that I minded.

This week, Alfie has been very ill with a high temperature and had I listened to someone else’s advice instead of following my own instinct, things could have gotten a lot worse.  Being a new mummy, I always ask other people’s opinions but in the end, I make up my own mind and this week was the perfect example.  Tuesday night Alfie was extremely fussy and got up every couple of hours which isn’t like him he’s a twice a night max baby.  Wednesday morning he fed but didn’t have his usual feed and he slept for a lot longer than usual.  During his afternoon feed, I noticed he felt hot so I took his temperature which was 38.3°C.  This is considered high for a baby of his age, I was fully aware of this.  I gave him some Calpol to help bring the temperature down then I tried getting through to my doctor’s office but as usual, the phone was engaged every time I hit re dial.  I gave it a couple of minutes and I text a couple of people I know to ask their advice.  Each of them said it was normal or he was teething or just to keep an eye on him but every one of them said I was over reacting calling the doctor.  I didn’t agree so I called the doctor again who asked us to go straight down with Alfie.

We were seen within minutes of arriving at the surgery and checking in at reception.  The doctor we saw was one of the doctors I have seen myself from being a baby so I trusted her advice completely.  She touched Alfie’s skin and commented how hot and clammy he was.  She checked him over, tummy, throat, ears etc. and checked his temperature again this time it was 38.8°C.  She was quite alarmed at this especially as he had been off his milk all day, very sleepy and generally quite miserable for Alfie and referred us straight to the Children’s Assessment Unit at Barnsley hospital.  We were told to go straight there and not to bother going home for anything, it was important we got him to hospital as soon as possible.  I was already worried but the sound of urgency in our doctors’ voice concerned me even more.

We arrived at the hospital where he was checked over by a nurse a doctor and a registrar.  Alfie’s heart rate was quite fast but I was assured this was because he wasn’t feeling well and they would keep checking it to make sure everything was well.  Thankfully his temperature was coming down with the Calpol and undressing him to his nappy.  They wanted to do blood tests to work out the cause of infection and temperature but he has “chubby hands” and finding a vein would be “near impossible” said the doctor.  They decided not to take blood and to assume he has a throat infection because his throat is “a bit red”.  We were sent home not long after.  I wasn’t happy with this but the doctors assured us it wasn’t anything serious and his temperature was down now so was unlikely to go back up again but if it did, Calpol would work fine.

I made the decision it would be best to stay downstairs that night for ease of access to medicines, milk, cold water and the open door should we need it.  I’m glad we did stay downstairs because his temperature rose to 39°C.  I opened the door, stripped him off completely and administered Calpol (easier said than done giving Calpol to a 12week old baby even with a syringe!).  Since Tuesday his temperature has been up and down and Alfie hasn’t been himself.  We no longer have “open access” to the C.A.U. at hospital so I have made an appointment with our doctor for Alfie to be checked on Monday should he be no better.  Of course, if he gets worse or the Calpol doesn’t take his temperature down I’ll be taking him straight to A&E.

I know my son and although it may be a throat infection, his temperature and current temperament are still an issue.  Our family doctor told me anything above 37.5 should be checked out if it doesn’t go down with paracetamol.  Alfie is still off his milk, still very sleepy, very fussy and now has diarrhoea so I’m keeping an even closer eye on him now. 

No matter who it is, no matter what they tell you always trust your own instincts first when it comes to your baby because as I said, no one knows them better than you.

Top Ten Tips Tuesday

As a new mummy I am constantly learning new things about babies, being a mummy and family life.  I’ve made mistakes to learn from, I’ve searched for answers and I’ve used my imagination so I thought why not share with you?  Hopefully, at least one of my top ten tips will help you in some way!  I’m not clever enough to have a Top Ten Tips Tuesday every week so it’ll probably be every few weeks or so ;)

1.     Whether you use real or disposable nappies your nappy pail or bin can tend to get a little stinky.  Avoid this by adding a few drops of tea tree oil to the bottom of your nappy pail or bin.

2.       Don’t have a black-out blind?  Can’t afford one/fit one due to tenancy rules?  That’s OK – find an old bath/ beach towel, open your window, fit it over the top of the window opening and close the window.  Hey presto – a darkened room!

3.       Do you ever think you’re “just nipping out” so don’t take the changing bag?  That’s usually the time when you get caught out with a wet, dirty and uncomfortable baby!  Always keep a spare nappy (or two), nappy sack, packet of wipes, vest & baby grow in your car.  All this baby stuff may seem a lot but it’ll fit perfectly in your glove compartment!

4.       Do you want to practice co-sleeping but don’t have a big enough bed or scared of rolling over on to your baby?  Don’t purchase a co-sleeping cot, take the side off of the one you already have and fit it next to your bed.  Most cots have adjustable heights making it simple for you to attach to your bed! *warning – make sure there is NO gap between bed & cot.

5.       Is your baby fussy and need to be near you all the time?  Are you breastfeeding and want to encourage milk production & baby bonding?  Or perhaps you have other children who need your attention too?  Buy a baby sling/carrier so you can have your hands free to do the household chores, play with your other children/push pram, breastfeed etc.  I recommend Victoria the Sling Lady for slings.

6.       Even though your baby may go through a few outfits a day, it still takes a long time to build up a “full load” of washing if you separate colours, darks and white items.  Don’t bother separating them, wait until you have a full load of washing and pop a colour catcher in the load!

7.       At least once a day (we do 2-3 times if we’re at home), give your baby some “nappy off” time to help or prevent nappy rash.  Pop baby on the changing mat with a towel under the bottom – unless you have a boy then surround him with towels because it can be somewhat like a sprinkler!

8.       Does your baby have dry skin or do you want to practice baby massage at home?  Don’t spend loads of money on that all organic, baby friendly, posh, attractive labelled baby oil – simply use organic olive oil!  Comes in bigger bottles for a fraction of the cost of baby oil and you can’t get any more natural than olive oil! *note do not use oil on your baby during the day in sunny weather.

9.       Join baby forums, talk to other mums and take any help offered to you.  Other mummies know what you’re going through and can often offer practical advice.  Lots of forums and baby sites can inform you of sales, product reviews and advice. 

10.   Take time out for YOU.  When hubby comes home from work, pass him baby and go get yourself a nice long bath with a book, magazine or just your own me time thoughts.  Also, once a week make a “date night” once baby is in bed – put your phones on silent, turn off the laptop and just BE with each other, even if that means watching a TV programme or chatting about your day.  Once a month, try and have a “date night” outside your house, get a babysitter and treat yourselves to a meal at your favourite restaurant, a night at the movies or a romantic walk together.  Happy babies are born from happy mummies and daddies.

Baby Wearing - Victoria The Sling Lady Review

Friday morning, Alfie’s new sling arrived in the post.  I had, had the wraps made by Victoria The Sling Lady recommended to me by a friend on Twitter.  I “liked” Victoria’s page on Facebook and began reading all the wonderful comments and seeing all the beautiful photographs of women AND men wearing their baby.  Before coming across Victoria’s website, I had actually never heard of the term “baby wearing” – I had always called it carrying.  When Alfie was born, we bought a sturdy carrier from Babies R Us (I love my bear sling) which is cute but not very comfortable for myself or for Alfie for a long period of time.  Also, with Alfie being quite a big baby he barely fits in the carrier now!  He’s a very nosey baby so sometimes, being in the pushchair simply won’t do!  We went for a long walk around Ladybower lake in the Peak District a few weeks ago and he cried the whole way around in his pram and was only happy when he was being carried (in arms, not the carrier we didn’t have it with us).  He is also a very fussy baby and likes to be near me lots which I love but sometimes it’s a little difficult carrying him everywhere!

I talked to Alan about buying the sling and he was all for it – he’s a hands on daddy and loves the idea of baby wearing.  After much consideration, I decided to go for a panel wrap – the panel wraps are different funky materials / designs in the centre of the wrap.  The other option is plain or patterned material.  So next was do we go for a sturdy or stretchy sling material?  We decided sturdy because of Alfie’s size and weight, he would fit fine in a stretchy sling but it probably wouldn’t last us as long and we’d need to buy a sturdy one.  My decision was made and I placed my order late Monday night: sturdy turquoise wrap with “dino dudes” panel.  I couldn’t wait for the wrap to arrive and I spent the rest of the week reading up on baby wearing, watching the instruction videos on Victoria’s website and looking at which wrap I could buy next!

So, as I said the sling arrived Friday morning and as soon as it came, I tried it on!  Luckily Alfie was awake so once I had mastered it with the doll, I proceeded to put Alfie in the sling in the “frog leg” position.  I couldn’t believe I had managed not only to tie the sling properly and securely first time but I had managed to put Alfie in it with no problems at all!  Alan had been on the night shift so he was in bed but due to wake up so we decided to give him a helping hand in waking up and went to show off our sling!  He loved it! 

Saturday saw us really test out the sling; I took Alfie to town in it!  Alan dropped us off in town and away we went.  I tied the sling at home and so when it came to getting out of the car, I just popped Alfie in and off we went on our shopping trip!  I visited Alan’s mum and nan on their cake stall and they were impressed at how funky the sling was!  I met my mum for a cuppa and a natter wearing Alfie and did a little shopping too!  It was so easy and carrying him in the sling meant I had two hands free to carry shopping, drink a cuppa, answer my phone and the best bit of all cuddle my gorgeous boy lots!  I had the pram with us for back up, just in case a full day in the sling wasn’t for Alfie but the only time I used the pram was when we got on the bus home and that’s because it saved me folding it up and carrying it on (which I could have done but was too lazy to!). 

Victoria’s slings are not only beautiful but they are practical too!  I’ve had Alfie in mine this morning as I pegged the washing out and did the dusting and vacuuming.  For women (and men) with other children as well as babies the slings are ideal because you can cuddle your baby AND still have your hands free for your other children.  I was slightly worried before I bought my sling that I wouldn’t tie it properly or tight enough to hold Alfie.  I had no need to be concerned, Victoria’s “how to” videos are great!  She shows you how to tie the wrap and how to put baby into the different positions, including a great position for breastfeeding mummies!  I tied the sling with ease after watching her videos and now I have the hang of it and just do it on auto pilot!  I have tried to “frog leg” position and the “foetal feet” position with Alfie and he is comfortable in both.  I thought his weight may be an issue for me as I’m quite petite and carrying his 16lb 11oz (or probably more now) body around all day may be stressful for my body but the weight is distributed perfectly.  Victoria explains the wider you wear the shoulder “straps” the more comfortable it is for you and I can confirm this really does work!  I could literally carry Alfie around all day which is great for days out because we don’t have to lug a pram around with us meaning we’re free to go more places (like with lots of steps or places that don’t allow prams which lots of museums don’t)

My verdict: 5***** - 10/10 - Fantastic! 

I would recommend Victoria’s slings to ANY mummy or daddy.  Tying them is easy, putting baby in them is easy and baby wearing is simply divine!  The designs are suitable for girls and boys should you go for a panel OR a plain sling.  My only wish?  That I’d known about Victoria before Alfie was born so I could have tried baby wearing from the start!  Now to decide which sling I’m buying next…

Check out Victoria The Sling Lady's website here
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Alfie and I ready for anything! 

I don't know how I coped without my sling!

Returning to Work

Recently I have been forced to think about returning to work and subsequently what to do with Alfie.  I made the decision in the third trimester of pregnancy that I only wanted to return to work part time, possibly 3 days a week.  The attachment I felt to my unborn baby was strong from day 1 of finding out I was pregnant however financially I wasn’t sure we’d cope with me only working part time.  We’re very lucky in that Alan has a fantastic job with great pay so we can afford for me to return to work part time.  I’ve made the decision that I want to go back, 3 days a week although I haven’t exactly mentioned this to my employer yet.  When I got pregnant, they were concerned I wouldn’t return to work at all after my maternity leave and as much as I’d like to be a full time mummy, I think I need that little bit of independence as well as the financial aspect of it all.

So, if I’m at work 3 days a week what happens with Alfie?  Next week I have given myself the mammoth task of finding somewhere suitable for my baby boy.  We’ve decided we’d like him to go to a nursery rather than a child minder for the social aspect of it.  Obviously by social aspect I don’t mean my baby will have a social life, what I mean is that he will be well integrated with other babies his age – and possibly younger/older.  For us, it’s important that he socialises with other babies to allow him to develop social skills.  It may seem mad that we want our baby to develop social skills but he’ll benefit from being with other children learning to share toys when he’s old enough to play with them and playing with other babies.  I also like the facilities that the nurseries have access to, arts and crafts, water play, outdoor play etc.  Whilst child minders do have other children in their care, they don’t always have access to the facilities that nurseries and day care centres do.

There are two nurseries nearby that I need to contact to arrange a visit which I plan on ringing soon but before I call them I need to know what days I may want Alfie to be there.  The problem with this is I haven’t spoken to my employer about returning to work on a part time basis and whilst I know they won’t have any problems with this, they may want some input into which days they want me to work.  They may want me to do three days altogether Mon, Tues & Weds etc or they may want me to split them Mon, Weds, Fri.  I really ought to speak with my boss Lou about this it’s just getting the courage to approach her about it.  Now I know she won’t have a problem with me returning to work part time but I feel a little bad about it.  I’m not sure why I feel bad, I just do.

I think on Monday, I’m going to email her and arrange to meet her for lunch and an informal chat to sound her out about the days she’d like me to work.  Personally, I’d prefer to do the days in a cluster so that it’s all over and done with so to speak but I’d do whatever is right for the company and more so my team.  I feel very close to Louise and she has done a hell of a lot for me and the company has been fantastic throughout my pregnancy especially with all the time I had off due to illness or the many threatened early labour starts I had.  I’ll let you know how it goes!

Today, our sling from Victoria The Sling Lady came today and it’s fabulous!  I had Alfie in it straight away but we haven’t managed to go out in it because we’ve had his hospital appointment today.  If the weather man is right in his forecast tomorrow should be dry meaning a good day for a test run!  Alan is working afters tomorrow so I’m thinking after Alfie’s feed in the morning I’ll either catch the bus to town or go for a walk locally wearing the him and see how it feels.  Once we’ve given the sling a proper test run, I’ll blog a review and let you know how we get on along with the all important photographs.  On first impressions though, I have to admit the sling is practical, comfortable and great looking!  Alfie was comfortable in it and I was comfortable wearing him – all 16lb 11oz (or probably more now…!)

Tea & Lolly Pops

Alan was on nights last night as I mentioned in my post yesterday so of course after giving Alfie his 11pm dream feed he was straight in bed with me for snuggles!  He settled straight away and was soon snoring away sweetly.  I was sold!  I text Alan and told him Alfie was in our bed and would be sleeping in our bed with us/me from now on!  The response I got wasn’t what I was expecting: “as long as there’s room for me…” So co-sleeping here we come!  We need a bigger bed but as I mentioned yesterday, that was always the plan regardless of my co-sleeping plans.  Both Alfie and I woke this morning at 5:50 and Alfie was laying there looking very pleased with himself that he was in mummy’s bed!  It was sooooooo much easier for the 3AM feed that he woke up for too!  So today I will be searching for a bigger bed.  I want either a really gorgeous rustic, chunky wooden bed or a big leather sleigh bed.  Wish me luck!

OK, so on to the title of this post, Tea and Lolly pops.  Unfortunately the titles meaning, sweet as it sounds is far from sweetness.  I’m angry.  Very angry.  In fact, I think it’s safe to say I am one pissed off mummy!  We were at my mother in laws earlier this week picking something of ours up and we decided to stay for a cuppa.  This is a big thing for me as I don’t really see eye to eye with my in laws…does anyone?! Anyhoo, Alan’s older sister, S came up whilst we were there (she lives a few doors down) and wanted a cuddle with Alfie which was fine.  Everything was pretty civilised until she changed Alfie’s nappy and passed him back to me.  He was getting grouchy because he was tired and it was almost his bottle and bed time.  I was stood up holding Alfie when all of a sudden, S and everyone else in the room (apart from Alan, he was doing something at the car) started to laugh.  I turned to see she was holding a lolly to my 10 week old babys mouth and he was licking it furiously.  I was dumbfounded!  Shell shocked!  I’m talking about the hard sweet type lolly that I wouldn’t give to a toddler let alone a 10 week old baby.  I nearly died of shock.  The lolly was passed to me to give to Alfie!  I sat down with him, shoved the lolly in MY mouth and chomped it until it was all gone.  No way was that going in his mouth!  I was so shocked, I said nothing I was silent.  She then made a remark about me being over protective and when he stays at her house (like that’s ever going to happen!) she’s got chocolate and all sorts lined up for him!  He’s fucking 10 week old not 10 years!!  Needless to say, this will be happening over my dead body.

The tea part happened a week previous.  Alfie was again tired at my mother in laws and I was cuddling him trying to get him off to sleep but my in laws are far from quiet people and so this wasn’t happening for us.  Alfie started to cry, as babies do when they’re tired… My mother in law picked up his dummy, dipped it in my tea and before I could do anything she shoved it in his mouth!  Boiling hot tea with sugar in? Was she mad?!  I took the dummy straight out of his mouth!  What idiot gives a baby tea?  It’s full of shite that’s no good for an adult so it has ZERO nutritional value for a baby!  Obviously, we soon left after this incident.  I didn’t say anything because the fact I’d taken it out of his mouth spoke volumes to her.  I was slagged off as over protective again!  Over protective?  No, just not thick!  So, after these two incidents I have come to the conclusion that my in laws are completely stupid and cannot and will not be trusted with my baby.  Ever.  Not even when he’s 30.  No chance.

Co-Sleeping & Never Say Never

Over the last couple of nights, I’ve decided I want to co-sleep with Alfie.  I had never considered co-sleeping until the other night, not for any particular reason the thought just never entered my head.  Of course I’d heard of co-sleeping, I just automatically bought the Moses basket and cotbed without considering the thought of co-sleeping.  I think it was Saturday last week when Alan started back at work on days after two weeks off where I made the decision that I’d like have a go at co-sleeping.  As he was on days, it was me that had to get up during the night if Alfie woke up and at 2am(ish) he did just that.  I tried to settle him but to no avail, Alfie was hungry so I fed him.  Bottle I’m upset to say (I’ll update on the breastfeeding later).  He was fed and fell asleep during the feed.  I lay cuddling him for ages, feeling his warm skin and smelling his baby scent, drinking in every bit of perfectness.  I didn’t have the heart to wake him to put him to bed nor did I want to put him back in his moses basket.  I just wanted to lay there with him next to me, so I did.  I must have fell asleep and woke up at 4am to Alan’s alarm.  He gave me a pretend angry look when he saw Alfie was in our bed.  I shrugged him off and told him we were comfy and I drifted back to sleep until Alfie woke up at 7ish the next morning.  I woke up to him gurgling to himself and kicking his legs around.  I got up, turned on the bedroom light and we played for a little while.  It was the happiest he’s woken up.  I was thoroughly excited that we’d slept in the same bed.  The closeness I felt was amazing.  I was hooked but wasn’t sure I’d be able to convince Alan.

From that night, if Alfie has woken during the night and I’ve got up with him – he’s come straight into our bed and stayed there until morning.  When Alan gets up with him, he puts Alfie back in his moses basket.  Yesterday I approached Alan about co-sleeping.  I say approached, it was more sounding his feelings out and he didn’t totally object!  We’ve been discussing buying a travel cot for when we go away and to use in our bedroom because Alfie won’t be in the moses basket for much longer so I started to research travel cots when I came across a co-sleeping cot.  The cot could also fold up in a travel cot style so I mentioned this to Alan.  I’m not entirely sure of his thoughts about co-sleeping, he hasn’t said much but the fact that he hasn’t completely objected gives me hope.  We’ve been needing a new bed for a while now because ours is metal and squeaky – read this as you will ;) and we’re hopefully buying one this month when Alan gets paid.  Tomorrow, I’m going to sit and talk to Alan about co-sleeping and ask for his thoughts on the matter and I’ll approach it by firstly mentioning our new bed.  To be honest, I don’t think he has much of a say in the matter as my mind is made up however I would like his support.  I am going to do some research into co-sleeping so, if you’re reading this and have any experience or knowledge I would really love to hear from you!

OK so they were pretty long paragraphs about co-sleeping but now we’ll get to the deeper stuff.  After the difficult pregnancy pretty much from day 1, Alan and I (and friends and family) had decided we would have just the one baby.  I wasn’t sure I could cope with the physical and emotional stress again and Alan felt the same even more so.  Even during the birth and weeks after I said we’d have no more.  At our 6 week check (that was done at 8 weeks) I was asked about the contraception I’d like to use, if any and I opted for the depo injection.  The doctor explained that this could take a while to get out of my system should we wish to get pregnant again.  I told her that wasn’t going to happen so the depo was ideal for us.  I had it there and then and my next one is due in October.  It’s due except I’m not going to have it.  I’m making an appointment with the doctor and asking to swap to a pill instead.  With the injection, I don’t know where I am with my periods at least with a pill I know there’s a 7 day gap where I may have one.  I also don’t like that it could take so long to come out of my system and hinder conception.  What’s that I hear you say?  I don’t want anymore babies?  My mind hasn’t been made up completely.  The jury is still out.  Actually it has been made up.  I think.  You see I’ve only thought things through with myself not said it out loud especially to Alan who keeps reiterating to anyone who will listen that we’re having no more babies!  This is the first time I’ve actually sat and thought about it and I have come to the decision that never say never!

I was already on the fence about it all and then today I was prompted to read a couple of birth stories that were truly inspirational.  The fact that they were amazing births didn’t make my mind up for me but it certainly helped.  I’d like to try a home water birth, if we ever conceive again.  Obviously this sounds ludicrous considering my begging for an epidural when Alfie was born but the thing is, I had nothing and I coped.  Yes it was painful, yes it was hard but I survived and I got through it so I could probably do it again.  Obviously conceiving Alfie wasn’t easy so maybe if we were to have any other babies we’d struggle again or it may just never happen and Alfie is our miracle baby.  The fact is, if we CAN have another baby naturally (without IVF treatment) I’d like to think that I will never say never.  Yes, Alan will need a hell of a lot of talking around because quite frankly the pregnancy and birth of Alfie scared him to death with all the complications.  Who could blame him for being scared to give it another go?  I just hope when I eventually talk to him about having another baby in a few years, he won’t dismiss it straight away.  He’ll at least give it some thought and consideration and will never say never.

NOTE: Any friend that mimics me saying I’d never have any more babies will be completely ignored as this is a very personal decision and not up for joking about.