The Conversation

Top Ten Tuesday is cancelled for this week, I have far more important things on my mind right now, like the conversation hubby and I had this weekend...

Hubby and I have a new routine in the evenings now, we actually sit down at the table and eat dinner together instead of sitting on separate sofas speaking the occasional word to each other and mostly playing on phones/laptops/watching television.  It wasn’t something we spoke about I just had his meal on the table for when he came home from work one night and it’s stuck!  It helps that I’ve taken it upon myself to find the cookery goddess in me and make some fantastic, scrummy meals [even if I do say so myself].

Sunday when hubby came home from work and I had made grilled chicken, vegetables and pasta.  It was [again even if I say so myself] delicious!  We had small talk: “How’s your day been”… “How was work”… “Feel better for that lay in this morning” and then I turned the conversation to baby talk.  I asked hubby how he felt about having another baby and his response was less than positive.  He doesn’t want another. Ever.  We joked around asking each other why we did/didn’t want another baby and kept trying to talk the other around to our way of thinking.  Neither of us budged.  He didn’t have a reason for not wanting another baby…he just doesn’t.  I reminded him of when we first got together and we decided we wanted a big family, he said after Alfie he just doesn’t want another.  We joked around and kept the conversation light hearted although we did ask the question if one wants another baby and one doesn’t…what happens in the future?  We chose not to answer that question.

After having Alfie I did have a short period of not wanting another baby…the pain of birth didn’t heal quickly for me and the trauma of all the early labour was still fresh in my head.  I have no doubt in my mind I was just in denial and was saying what hubby wanted to hear.  I regret ever saying it now.  Every time I look at Alfie it amazes me how much I love him and how much my love for him grows every day.  I know I could love another baby just as much as I love Alfie.  Boy or girl.  I would love them equally – more than anything in the whole wide world but I’d love them differently of course because they’d be different people.  I’d love them both just as much as each other though there’s no doubt in my mind about that.  Hubby agrees if another baby “accidentally” came along he would love him/her just as much as he loves Alfie but he still doesn’t want another.

I’m not sure how to feel after this revelation; I really thought he wanted another baby.  I thought he wanted Alfie to have a brother or sister to play with, fight with and to make memories with.  We need to talk about it again, we’ve agreed that much.  He said he may change his mind in the future but he honestly can’t see it happening.  So is that it?  Just Alfie then?  That makes me sound ungrateful or like Alfie isn’t enough but it isn’t that at all.  Having Alfie was the most magical, beautiful, life changing experience of my life and the love I feel for him is overwhelming – why wouldn’t I want to go through all that again?  It’s true what they say, you forget all the bad bits of pregnancy and birth and just remember the overwhelming wonderful feeling of holding your beautiful baby close and breathing in their newborn scent.  I’m not sure how the next conversation will pan out – I’m not going to try to persuade him to have another baby his heart has to be in it because otherwise it isn’t fair on the baby, hubby or me and Alfie.  I’d like to think he’s still traumatised from the pregnancy and birth of Alfie and that in a couple of years he’ll change his mind.  Who knows?

Weaning - Day 1

Recently, Alfie has become a lot more unsettled and he seems very uncomfortable when he’s feeding.  I spoke to a doctor and my health visitor and both came up with the conclusion that his reflux is for some reason not being controlled as well by the medicines anymore.  This could be for many reasons, mainly his weight VS dosage.  I mentioned in a previous post that we were advised to wean Alfie earlier than 6 months for medical reasons; at first this really upset me as I wanted to wait until he was 6 months old however recently my opinion has changed.

Yesterday we gave Alfie his first taste of porridge and it’s safe to say he enjoyed it!  It was officially the first day of weaning him.  I understand some of you reading this will disagree completely with weaning before 6 months but for Alfie it’s just the right time.  Babies with reflux rarely get to 6 months on milk alone because it is so painful for them.  Pureed food is thicker and therefore easier to keep down.  I think until you go through a similar experience where your child is so unhappy and in pain you can’t understand.  I too was against weaning before 6 months until I was advised otherwise by a professional.

The plan is to give Alfie porridge after his morning feed for a week or two then we’ll introduce fruit and vegetables and eventually meat.  I plan on weaning him slowly so he can get used to the tastes and textures of the foods.  We’re hoping to stick to making the purees ourselves so I know exactly what he’s eating although there are certain brands I’ll use if needed such as Plum Baby.  I’m both excited and nervous about weaning him.  Mostly, the excitement is because I know in time he’ll feel so much better with the reflux easing off.  The nerves are because I’m a new mum and have no idea about weaning!  I’m following Alfie’s lead all the way on this and the fact that he was smiling eating his porridge tells me he enjoyed it  - that and he practically ate the spoon too!

My Demanding Baby

Since becoming a mummy one of my biggest annoyances is competitive parents and parenting.  Having a baby is a special and magical thing but at the same time it is extremely hard.  I have a friend who, when I talk to her about Alfie likes to tell me that her baby has slept through 10 hours for her.  She brags that he is fully weaned at only four months [she never breastfeed, personal choice] and she competes with other friends for whose baby will be the first to sit up unaided etc…  Why is there this need to compete?  Why are some mums so keen on telling other mums how they get their little one to sleep through the night?  Alfie doesn’t sleep through so automatically I’m doing something wrong or I should be doing something else?  When will people realise that babies are people and therefore they are all different. 

 

I hate hearing friends tell me I should “feed him up” before bed or drop the breastfeeding completely [we currently mix feed] because when they did, their baby slept through the night.  I am constantly told, I will “spoil” Alfie if I cuddle him every time he cries.  I completely and utterly disagree with controlled crying or crying it out techniques – this in my eyes is cruel.  I’m told I spoil him by co-sleeping.  I spoil him by taking his lead on pretty much everything.  How is it possible to spoil a baby with love?  What a load of rubbish.  Have these people not realised that each baby is different and that their “techniques” may not work for all babies?  I’m pleased that you’re getting your 8 hours sleep at night because your little one sleeps through but I’m more pleased that I’m only getting a few hours broken sleep because Alfie wakes up because it means I get to look at him and cuddle him more.

My friend has moved her four month old baby into his own room, already.  It is recommended that babies sleep in the same room as you until they are 6 months old.  Why would she want that separation from her baby sooner than is recommended?  I know that eventually Alfie will be in his own room but not until he is ready be it at 6 months or 12.  She doesn’t understand the concept of co-sleeping and often mocks me for doing it saying that I’ll never get my bed back.  I haven’t always co-slept although I wish I had had the confidence to from the start.  The midwives in the hospital didn’t let me sleep with Alfie on my chest and took him off me to put him in the crib whilst we both slept.  I was told not to pick him up to cuddle him if he was asleep.  I wish I hadn’t listened but that’s another blog post.  Everything I do, I do for Alfie.  I have found that co-sleeping means he is much easier to settle when he wakes up because he is close to me.  How is that bad?

The mothers who compete against each other for their child’s first steps, the first time they sleep in their own room, sleep through the night or use the potty are missing the point of those all important milestones.  It isn’t about how early your baby can do it, it’s the fact that they CAN do it – late or early it doesn’t matter.  Why would you want to compete against another parent for whose child will walk first?  If your child doesn’t walk first will you be disappointed?  Some parents are so set on their baby growing up they wish their lives away.  Why are they so interested in what other babies can do, isn’t their own baby enough to interest them?  I was elated that Alfie could sit up on his own for a few seconds at only 3 months but my first reaction wasn’t to text everyone to let them know – it was to take a photograph and make a mental note to put it in his baby book.

Alfie is and always has been a demanding baby – even throughout pregnancy he liked to keep me on my toes.  He doesn’t sleep through – waking at least twice a night on rare occasions but closer to the 3-4 times.  He won’t go to sleep unaided – he likes to be cuddled, rocked, nursed etc. to sleep.  He hates his car seat and travelling in the car and screams blue murder when we put him in – so much so I have been relegated to the back seat with him until he feels more comfortable with it.  Some days he hates his pram – other days he hates being carried.  He is constantly sick due to reflux and feeding times can be a nightmare despite the medication.  Sometimes, he is inconsolable unless you pick him up and cuddle him but you must be stood up or he cries.  Alfie is a demanding baby but he is my baby and I wouldn’t have him any other way. 

Sometimes he has days where he is a grumpy baby and other days he is all smiles.  He cries but he also laughs and smiles.  He doesn’t sleep through the night but he gets the right amount of sleep he does need and that’s what’s important.  He’s a demanding feeder but he gets what he needs to keep him healthy.  He hates car rides but he doesn’t mind so much if I’m there with him.  Sometimes it can be really difficult to settle him with cuddles, dummies, rocking or singing but once he is settled it is really easy to make him smile.  Some days Alfie is demanding and hard work but every day he is a pleasure to have and he makes every day so special.  I’m not interested that your child can sleep through the night or is already fully weaned or is sleeping in their own room…I follow the lead of my son and always will.  It’s about unconditional love and nurturing not competing and rushing.

Pregnant? Already?

How soon is too soon to have another baby?  Is it selfish to have another baby so soon after the birth of your youngest/first born?  What factors will you consider before having another child?  These are all questions I have asked myself and if I’m honest I don’t have the answers.  A girl I know [not a friend, an acquaintance] had her baby girl March this year and is already 24 weeks pregnant expecting her second, is that too soon?  I don’t think they own a telly in their house.  My friend who had her son in April is already planning for her second baby within the next 12 months.  Yet another friend is waiting until her little one is out of nappies before she plans her second baby.  Everyone is different and circumstances count for a lot but when it comes down to it, is it personal preference, ignorance or a little bit of both?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, discussing it on forums and talking to friends about it.  Everyone has their own opinion, some think it’s selfish to have one before the baby is at school age and some think it’s better to have children with ages closer together.  When I made the decision a few weeks ago that I’d like to have more children I never thought about when we would try I just decided that I wanted more.  Alfie is 3 months old and such a demanding baby as a first time mum I’m learning every day and making plenty of mistakes on the way.  Will it be different when baby no2 comes along?  Probably not because every baby is different it’s a person at the end of the day, just a lot smaller [and cuter].  And about that, baby no2 – I don’t like that saying.  To me, it sounds as if the second baby is second in everything and it’s not – it just arrives second that’s all.  A girl I know calls her girls princess no1 and princess no2…pretty sure that may cause upset when they’re older.  I’d have to think of another nick name…Alfie was Baby Lewis so we couldn’t use that but I certainly won’t be using baby no2 or anything of the sort.  It will be my second baby but by no means second in any other way.

I often sit and gaze at Alfie whilst he’s sleeping, playing or having cuddles with hubby and I and thought to myself how much I love him.  There’s nothing quite like a mothers love for her baby, something you can’t fully understand until you become a mother.  I love him more than anyone and anything.  That’s just it though…I love him more than anyone; does that mean I’ll love him more than our next bubba?  Will I show favouritism because Alfie was my first born or will Alfie get less of my attention because bubba is my “baby” – the youngest of the family?  In my family my brother who is the eldest gets away with murder with my mother, as does my little sister.  Me and my older sister are the “middle” children and don’t have that kind of relationship with my mum.  Is the first born, last born thing real?  I can’t imagine loving anyone as much as I love Alfie but then I guess a mothers’ love for her children is limitless and knows no bounds, right?  Right.

Oh and if you were wondering, I’m not pregnant…

Migraines & Breastfeeding

Before I got pregnant with Alfie, I suffered with migraines on a regular basis [at least 3 a month] and had done for a long, long time.  Just before I met my hubby, I was advised by a doctor to stop using oral contraception because the risk of stroke is higher in women who suffer with migraines and take oral contraceptives.  I had previously been on the Depo Provera injection contraceptive but it’s only advised to be on that a couple of years as it can increase risk of brittle bone disease if taken continuously for longer [you can have a break and then start back on it].  My migraines were often debilitating to the point of forcing me into our darkened bedroom, in bed often in tears.  I remember one day I had a migraine that started at work, I persevered through the day but by the time I got home the whole left hand side of my face and upper body felt numb and the pain was unbearable.  I went straight to bed and ended up staying there for 3 days.  Once a migraine has worn off, I am extremely exhausted and as one is starting, I feel very ill.  I wouldn’t wish migraines on anyone.

Migraines can either become worse or disappear during pregnancy and I was extremely lucky in that mine had disappeared pretty much straight away.  I’m glad they did because with everything else I went through during pregnancy, I don’t know if I’d have coped with migraines too!  Pretty much the day after I gave birth, I had a migraine.  I put this down to tiredness and the huge stress I had just put my body through.  I’ve had a couple of minor migraines since then, bad enough to stop me what I’m doing but not enough to force me to bed, thankfully.  Saturday I woke up with migraine and I felt sick and weak, I put it down to being so tired [I’d had a bad night with Alfie and hubby was on the day shift so I had to get up with Alfie].  After giving Alfie his morning feed, I put him down for a nap and I joined him.  I woke up from my nap feeling no better, I drank plenty and made sure I had food – I know only too well how dehydration and lack of food can make migraines worse.  Our day pretty much consisted of: feed – play – sleep, all day until Alfie’s bath and bed time.

Hubby came home from his double shift and we ordered a pizza.  Something I had promised myself we wouldn’t do this month but my migraine had me sofa ridden and with hubby working the double shift, it hardly seemed fair to ask him to cook.  We ate and were in bed for before 10pm.  I took some painkillers and I still struggled to get to sleep even with a hot water bottle and cold cloth for the pain [alternating heat/cold can help ease migraines].  Obviously it was dark because it was night time but even the landing light was hurting my eyes so hubby closed the bedroom door further [not completely shut, I’m not a fan of the dark you see…].  Alfie woke for feeding and it was my turn to sort him out first, I cuddled and fed him but the whole time my migraine was killing me.  Alfie went straight back to sleep and I was hoping I could too but it wasn’t meant to be.  I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours, my migraine was stopping me from sleeping.  Alfie woke again early hours in the morning and hubby took his “turn”.  I got us both a drink and me some more painkillers tried to fall back to sleep but I was still awake when hubby had finished feeding Alfie.  I eventually fell to sleep at some point and when Alfie woke up at 6, hubby got up with him and took him downstairs to let me get some much needed rest.  I woke at 8am feeling exhausted and sick. 

By 9am although I still didn’t feel fantastic, the migraine was on its way out at last!  It had lasted a whole day and made me feel like shit for the privilege.  Sunday meant I was too exhausted to do anything other than play with Alfie and watch T.V.  the housework suffered dramatically at the weekend so I’m behind this week which is stressing me out.  I’m booking an appointment with the doctor because I don’t want to get to the point where I have regular migraines lasting more than a day.  The only problem with this is, the medication prescribed to help prevent migraines or the painkillers to ease migraines aren’t safe to use during breastfeeding to what I know of.  I’m in a catch 22 situation: I don’t take the medication and my quality of life suffers on the days I have migraine and consequently so does Alfie’s.  I take the medication and I have to completely stop breastfeeding and stick to formula feeding [we mix feed at the moment].  These are concerns I’ll discuss with the doctor but until then, I’ll cope with the migraines on paracetamol and lots of fluid.

Happy 3 Months Little Man

Yesterday was Tuesday but not only that it was the 30^th of August.  Do you know what that means?  It means my gorgeous little boy is 3 months old.  Oh how the 3 months have flown.  Here’s a little letter to my gorgeous boy:

Dear Alfie,

Yesterday you were 3 months old yet it seems like only yesterday that you were born.  You’re getting so big now; you weighed 19lb 8oz at your last weigh in!  You’re a little smiler most of the time and even wake up with a big grin on your face.  You really love to play pat-a-cake and you love to hear me sing “The Grand Old Duke of York” to you while I bounce you on my knee; it’s your favourite song! 

You still love bath time and you love to do big splashes and get mummy and daddy wet through.  You’re in your big boy cot now and it’s attached to mummy’s side of the bed because you love to sleep with us and we love to have you close to us.  You’re getting better at going in the car seat, you don’t cry all the time anymore – just sometimes.  You’ve visited a lot of places since you were born and I have started to sort out your memory box, baby book and scrap book.  We still take photographs of you every day because you’re growing up so fast. 

You have your Welcome to the World party next month and we are all excited about it, I have been planning it all month.  You’ve been poorly again this month you had a virus and a high temperature but you were much better after lots of cuddles from mummy and some yummy calpol medicine.

We love you oh so very much little boy, as each day passes we love you more and more.  You are our world and we are so happy you are our very beautiful baby boy.  Happy 3 months little man!

Lots of love, cuddles & kisses

Mummy & Daddy

Date Night

Thursday was our very first date night since having Alfie and the very first time I have left him.  We made the decision last week to have a date night this week as we wanted to see the Inbetweeners film.  I asked my friend, Batman (obviously her real name is Robyn…) to babysit for us as she’s looked after her nephew and niece from being tiny baby’s and I trust her completely.  She couldn’t wait to babysit, I on the other hand was slightly apprehensive about the whole thing.

I spent Thursday day time with Alfie close to me all day, knowing that later on I had to leave him with someone else.  We went out for a coffee with my sister, niece, sister in law and nephew while hubby was at work.  When hubby came home, we went shopping to buy Alfie some new vests and a couple of outfits (he’s growing too fast!).  I bought myself a red hair colour too but that’s another story.  Alfie and I spent the afternoon playing and while he napped I cleaned and then he’d eat and play some more.  I told Batman that hubby would pick her up at 7:30 and I would have Alfie all sorted by this time.  I had a plan.

At 6:00pm I bathed Alfie and then fed him and at 7:00pm he was ready for bed.  I stayed with him until he fell asleep.  If he’d have woken up I don’t think I could have left the house.  He was sound asleep by the time we left at 8:00pm.  I gave Batman a run-down of instructions should he wake/get upset/if she needed us.  She had no credit on her mobile so she wouldn’t be able to text me, I told her she should use our landline to call me if she needed me.  So we were off, after checking on Alfie again.  We arrived at the cinema and parking as usual was a nightmare!  Part of me hoped we’d not get parked and have to go home.  I was missing my baby.  We got parked and went into the cinema.  It was packed.

The film, as I expected was hilarious and I laughed a lot although Alfie was in the back of my mind the whole time.  I couldn’t completely relax.  I checked my phone signal constantly just in case Batman was trying to reach me for whatever reason.  Each time I checked, my phone signal was full and there were no signs of Batman needing or wanting to contact me.  It was lovely to have some time alone with hubby although because we were at the cinema we didn’t really talk apart from the car journey there and back.  I think the next time we have a date night we’re going to possibly go for drinks with friends for an hour that way we can talk and have fun together.  When the film finished I was the first person out of my seat and out of screen 8.  Alan took the long way home which I questioned.  I think he was trying to test me.  All I wanted to do was go home.

We got home and I went straight upstairs to check on Alfie.  He was sound asleep, snoring lightly.  Beautiful.  I came downstairs and talked to Batman to see how he’d been.  The ignorant neighbours had been doing DIY in their house and woke him up a couple of times but aside from that, he’d been as good as gold.  He didn’t even notice I wasn’t there.  I wasn’t sure if I was happy about this or not.  I’m still not sure today.  I had a catch up with Batman before hubby took her home at 11:30pm.  When hubby got home we went to up to bed because we were up early Friday morning and quite frankly, I just wanted to be close to my baby.

So, I managed to leave Alfie.  Was it easy? Hell no!  Do I want to do it again? Eventually.  Will it be any time soon? Probably not.  I think on hubby’s next day off from work, we’ll have a lovely family day out and then when Alfie is in bed we’ll have a lovely dinner at the table together where we can catch up and spend some time together that doesn’t involve the tele, laptop or our phones [best make sure it’s not a soap night then!]

Top Ten Tuesday: Baby Buys

I had a brain wave this morning whilst trying to think of tips…I thought rather than have a “Top Ten Tips Tuesday” why not just have a “Top Ten Tuesday”, it’s far less restrictive for me to write and you to read.  Last week I had ten tips, this week I’m going to have my ten buys, so here it goes:

1.       Swing – we bought this one – obviously a luxury buy but when he suffered with colic it was a life saver and even now with his reflux it’s ideal.  We alternate between his bouncer chair and his swing.

2.       Electric breast pump – we bought this one – if you can’t afford to buy one, speak to your health visitor or midwife they can put you in touch with breastfeeding support/link workers who can hire them out to you.  Some places ask for a refundable deposit and others don’t, this depends on your area.  We have a manual pump, an electric pump AND we hired a double pump from my breastfeeding link worker to help encourage my milk supply.  A must if you’re breastfeeding.

3.       Sling – we bought ours from Victoria the SlingLady – it’s a wrap which is much nicer for me to wear and Alfie to sit in.  They’re great for bonding, breastfeeding and giving you your freedom back.  I reviewed our sling here and also put this in my top ten tips here

4.       Reusable nappies – we bought these and are waiting to try these there are a few reasons for our choice in going cloth, firstly they’re nicer on babies bum (no nasty chemicals), they’re kinder to the environment and most importantly kinder to your pocket – the initial outlay can be expensive but once you’ve got them, there’s no need to buy more (one size’s only).  Most you can put in with your normal wash (remember those colour catchers!) meaning it isn’t more washing as you might think it would be.

5.       Olive oil – we use an organic one and no not for my cooking, (we do use it for cooking we have a separate bottle) it’s for baby massage and baby’s dry skin.  It’s not only cheaper than expensive branded baby oils/moisturisers but it is far more effective and kinder to baby’s skin, even health professionals recommend it!

6.      Travel play mat – we have this one but it was given to us by my sister, we didn’t buy it.  Great for keeping in the boot of the car when you’re out visiting family and friends.  A lot of people have laminate floor these days which isn’t ideal for baby to lay on – plus you know where your mats been and that it’s clean, their floor might not be!

7.       Bath seat – we have this one.  We were given a baby bath but it’s been used a hand full of times.  Using a bath seat frees up your hands to bath a wriggly new born baby safely and easily.

8.       Bibs & muslin cloths and lots of them – I have a box full of bibs and lots of muslin cloths because whilst babies are beautiful they’re messy creatures!  You can never have too many bibs/cloths and they’ll last you years.

9.       Thermometer – you have to be extremely careful when it comes to babies and temperatures as they can have a fit if they over heat.  The best types of thermometers to have is the one that you put in baby’s ear or the one you put under their arm as they’re more accurate.  The forehead strips while they are easier to use, only tell you the temperature of baby’s skin.

10.   A baby box/book/scrap book (or all three like me!) – you probably already have one of these and are building it up.  I’ve been building Alfie’s up from pregnancy.  I bought a plain box and I’m decorating it for him to add that personal touch.  I have things like leaflets, parking tickets and attraction passes that will go in his scrap book – each page dedicated to another special day.  His baby book is The Very Hungry Caterpillar and has lots of things for us to fill in.

A Mothers Instincts

The one thing I’ve learnt about being a mummy is to trust my instinct because it’s usually right.  Having a baby grow inside you for 9 months, bringing him/her into the world either naturally or not, having that first cuddle, the first feed (breast or bottle) even the first nappy change.  Your baby knows you better than anyone because you’ve been with him for 9 months, nurturing him, talking to him, loving him.  All of this more importantly means that you know your baby better than anyone.  Forget the experts; forget what other mums say/do ultimately YOU know your baby better than anyone in this world.  Of course you can listen to advice but when it comes down to it, the decision will always be yours.

I have been “in tune” with Alfie since day POP, the day I found out I was pregnant but I became even more in tune with him when I first felt him move and then even more so when I went into early labour at 27+ weeks (luckily it was stopped) and continued to go into and out of early labour for the rest of my pregnancy (41 weeks).  I knew then he was going to be a fussy baby, not that I minded.

This week, Alfie has been very ill with a high temperature and had I listened to someone else’s advice instead of following my own instinct, things could have gotten a lot worse.  Being a new mummy, I always ask other people’s opinions but in the end, I make up my own mind and this week was the perfect example.  Tuesday night Alfie was extremely fussy and got up every couple of hours which isn’t like him he’s a twice a night max baby.  Wednesday morning he fed but didn’t have his usual feed and he slept for a lot longer than usual.  During his afternoon feed, I noticed he felt hot so I took his temperature which was 38.3°C.  This is considered high for a baby of his age, I was fully aware of this.  I gave him some Calpol to help bring the temperature down then I tried getting through to my doctor’s office but as usual, the phone was engaged every time I hit re dial.  I gave it a couple of minutes and I text a couple of people I know to ask their advice.  Each of them said it was normal or he was teething or just to keep an eye on him but every one of them said I was over reacting calling the doctor.  I didn’t agree so I called the doctor again who asked us to go straight down with Alfie.

We were seen within minutes of arriving at the surgery and checking in at reception.  The doctor we saw was one of the doctors I have seen myself from being a baby so I trusted her advice completely.  She touched Alfie’s skin and commented how hot and clammy he was.  She checked him over, tummy, throat, ears etc. and checked his temperature again this time it was 38.8°C.  She was quite alarmed at this especially as he had been off his milk all day, very sleepy and generally quite miserable for Alfie and referred us straight to the Children’s Assessment Unit at Barnsley hospital.  We were told to go straight there and not to bother going home for anything, it was important we got him to hospital as soon as possible.  I was already worried but the sound of urgency in our doctors’ voice concerned me even more.

We arrived at the hospital where he was checked over by a nurse a doctor and a registrar.  Alfie’s heart rate was quite fast but I was assured this was because he wasn’t feeling well and they would keep checking it to make sure everything was well.  Thankfully his temperature was coming down with the Calpol and undressing him to his nappy.  They wanted to do blood tests to work out the cause of infection and temperature but he has “chubby hands” and finding a vein would be “near impossible” said the doctor.  They decided not to take blood and to assume he has a throat infection because his throat is “a bit red”.  We were sent home not long after.  I wasn’t happy with this but the doctors assured us it wasn’t anything serious and his temperature was down now so was unlikely to go back up again but if it did, Calpol would work fine.

I made the decision it would be best to stay downstairs that night for ease of access to medicines, milk, cold water and the open door should we need it.  I’m glad we did stay downstairs because his temperature rose to 39°C.  I opened the door, stripped him off completely and administered Calpol (easier said than done giving Calpol to a 12week old baby even with a syringe!).  Since Tuesday his temperature has been up and down and Alfie hasn’t been himself.  We no longer have “open access” to the C.A.U. at hospital so I have made an appointment with our doctor for Alfie to be checked on Monday should he be no better.  Of course, if he gets worse or the Calpol doesn’t take his temperature down I’ll be taking him straight to A&E.

I know my son and although it may be a throat infection, his temperature and current temperament are still an issue.  Our family doctor told me anything above 37.5 should be checked out if it doesn’t go down with paracetamol.  Alfie is still off his milk, still very sleepy, very fussy and now has diarrhoea so I’m keeping an even closer eye on him now. 

No matter who it is, no matter what they tell you always trust your own instincts first when it comes to your baby because as I said, no one knows them better than you.

Top Ten Tips Tuesday

As a new mummy I am constantly learning new things about babies, being a mummy and family life.  I’ve made mistakes to learn from, I’ve searched for answers and I’ve used my imagination so I thought why not share with you?  Hopefully, at least one of my top ten tips will help you in some way!  I’m not clever enough to have a Top Ten Tips Tuesday every week so it’ll probably be every few weeks or so ;)

1.     Whether you use real or disposable nappies your nappy pail or bin can tend to get a little stinky.  Avoid this by adding a few drops of tea tree oil to the bottom of your nappy pail or bin.

2.       Don’t have a black-out blind?  Can’t afford one/fit one due to tenancy rules?  That’s OK – find an old bath/ beach towel, open your window, fit it over the top of the window opening and close the window.  Hey presto – a darkened room!

3.       Do you ever think you’re “just nipping out” so don’t take the changing bag?  That’s usually the time when you get caught out with a wet, dirty and uncomfortable baby!  Always keep a spare nappy (or two), nappy sack, packet of wipes, vest & baby grow in your car.  All this baby stuff may seem a lot but it’ll fit perfectly in your glove compartment!

4.       Do you want to practice co-sleeping but don’t have a big enough bed or scared of rolling over on to your baby?  Don’t purchase a co-sleeping cot, take the side off of the one you already have and fit it next to your bed.  Most cots have adjustable heights making it simple for you to attach to your bed! *warning – make sure there is NO gap between bed & cot.

5.       Is your baby fussy and need to be near you all the time?  Are you breastfeeding and want to encourage milk production & baby bonding?  Or perhaps you have other children who need your attention too?  Buy a baby sling/carrier so you can have your hands free to do the household chores, play with your other children/push pram, breastfeed etc.  I recommend Victoria the Sling Lady for slings.

6.       Even though your baby may go through a few outfits a day, it still takes a long time to build up a “full load” of washing if you separate colours, darks and white items.  Don’t bother separating them, wait until you have a full load of washing and pop a colour catcher in the load!

7.       At least once a day (we do 2-3 times if we’re at home), give your baby some “nappy off” time to help or prevent nappy rash.  Pop baby on the changing mat with a towel under the bottom – unless you have a boy then surround him with towels because it can be somewhat like a sprinkler!

8.       Does your baby have dry skin or do you want to practice baby massage at home?  Don’t spend loads of money on that all organic, baby friendly, posh, attractive labelled baby oil – simply use organic olive oil!  Comes in bigger bottles for a fraction of the cost of baby oil and you can’t get any more natural than olive oil! *note do not use oil on your baby during the day in sunny weather.

9.       Join baby forums, talk to other mums and take any help offered to you.  Other mummies know what you’re going through and can often offer practical advice.  Lots of forums and baby sites can inform you of sales, product reviews and advice. 

10.   Take time out for YOU.  When hubby comes home from work, pass him baby and go get yourself a nice long bath with a book, magazine or just your own me time thoughts.  Also, once a week make a “date night” once baby is in bed – put your phones on silent, turn off the laptop and just BE with each other, even if that means watching a TV programme or chatting about your day.  Once a month, try and have a “date night” outside your house, get a babysitter and treat yourselves to a meal at your favourite restaurant, a night at the movies or a romantic walk together.  Happy babies are born from happy mummies and daddies.